Gunna be hard to shut us down

I just thought I'd give an update on my flag football season.

Unfortunately, it is over. I have played my last flag football game.

During the last game I had the greatest "pump you up for a flag football game" song ever in my head. You should listen to it while you read.

We'll start with Corec.

Corec is so fun. I just love it. Our team went 1-3. Its fine! It was a blast. We won our last game 43-0. It was great to go out on a W.  And Kelsey and Cory brought Capri Sun and Fruit by the Foot to our last game. It was a blast. Another plus of Corec was getting to play with my brother. He's really good. And I just love being with that guy!

Kels and I with our Capri Sun

My boys team.

Yes, I said boys team. I coached my brother's team.  I mean, as much as a girl can "coach" any guys sports team, I totally did.  And for the most part, they listened to me.  Sometimes I would tell them exactly what the other team was going to do and they wouldn't listen to me. I'd be right, and they'd listen the next time :).  It was really fun, despite the fact that they also went 1-3. The last game was also the win.  They were ahead by a significant margin but the game got called early because the other team had three personal fouls.  After the game was called we stuck around and just messed around for awhile. It as a blast.

Daughters of Lightning.

Daughters of Freaking Lightning . . .
I love it.

We went 5-1-1.  We also played in the 3 on 3 tournament.  I just can't get enough of it. I've been told I'm like a totally different person when I'm playing on my girls' team.  And that if you haven't seen me play flag football, you don't know a whole side of Missy. I'm not going to deny it. I get pretty competitive.

Basically, my team is incredible.  We qualified for playoffs and were ranked third heading into playoffs.  The team we were scheduled to play first we had beat the first week of regular season. We were expecting them to have improved a lot. Not really.  We won 46-6.  It was awesome. Except for the fact that one of our girls tore her ACL.

Giving Coach Daniel a football we all signed

Then we were heading into the semifinals!! whoop! I really wanted to win that game for a number of reasons.  We had never been past the semi's before.  We were playing the BCM for the fourth time in two years.  Every time we have played them it has been close. Like 6-6, 14-7, 12-7 . . . and we were ready to beat them by a significant margin. It was just time.  Well praise the Lord!! We played so stinkin' well, and we beat them 38-0. Yeah. 0. It was awesome!

Li Yin getting a first down

catching for a touchdown

Ruthie being awesome and running past multiple defenders

Amy tearing it up

Catching another touchdown

praying after the game

Finals baby!! Here we come!!
The team we played in the finals was called the Replacements. They are mostly ex-Lady Vols. Like they are not eligible to play their sport anymore and so they are playing flag football. Something like that. Basically they are awesome. And big. Our team is very vertically challenged. At 5'6" and a half I am the tallest on the team.  Last year we played these girls in the semifinals and lost by about 45 points.  We weren't necessarily expecting to win, but we didn't think we would get crushed either.  We were so nervous. I legit almost threw up.

We played that game so stinkin' hard! I don't know that we have ever played that hard or wanted to win a game more. Our defense was absolutely incredible.  It was 0-0 at the half.  You have to understand what a big deal that is. These girls have won every game they have ever played, and have won by like 30 points every time.
 We ended up losing 6-0.  But really, it felt like a win. We kept them to their lowest score ever. It was incredible. So much fun. And I couldn't be more proud. Even though we didn't walk away with a t-shirt, we still felt like champions

Ruthie juking past the fastest girl on their team

Amy being an awesome quarterback

after the finals

with some legends, LE and Tami

War

I would just like to share some truth that has hit home lately.  God is so good.

I've been struggling with some things lately and I couldn't quite put my finger on why.

Things like loneliness and severe insecurity.  Those things are not fun to struggle with.  Yesterday I was blessed to meet with the wonderful woman who mentors me. She is so wise!! She challenged me to realize that I was being lied to, and to find the truth and stop believing those lies. She also told me to go read 2 Corinthians 10:5 and to really study it.  God is so faithful. I've just got to share with you what I've learned.

2 Corinthians 10:5 is a verse I am very familiar with, in fact, I would guess that most people who are walking with the Lord would say they are familiar with it.

As I dove in I just asked the Spirit to reveal it to me in a new way, one that I could see with a fresh perspective, not clouded by past experience or preconceived notions.

Here is that passage:

2 Corinthians 10:3-5

For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does.  The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world.  On the contrary, they have the divine power to demolish strongholds.  We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ.  

Ok, so those bold words are important.  Were going to look at those.  
War:
There is a war going on that we don't realize most days.  While studying this passage I had Chuck Smith's commentary open on Blue Letter Bible. Its great. You should read the whole thing on this verse because it is incredibly enlightening, and also true.
Basically, "we do not and cannot imagine the extent to which spiritual warfare is being waged in the universe around us."  That may sound a little extreme, but it is SO true.  Daniel 10 talks about this battle even more.  Daniel had prayed and fasted because he was seeking an answer from the Lord.  It says he prayed and fasted for 21 days.  An angel comes to him and tells him that "Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them.  But the prince of the Persian kingdom resisted me twenty-one days.  Then Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, because I was detained there with the king of Persia". An angel, a messenger of the Lord was held captive and unable to complete his mission because of the spiritual war being waged.  Yes, it is still happening.  

demolish:
Demolish (according to dictionary.com) means to destroy or ruin on purpose, to ruin utterly, to put an end to.
arguments:
Those are arguments of the truth.  They are lies and ploys of the enemy to make me stop believing truth.
pretension:
This means to make a claim of something, whether indirectly or by implication.

The enemy is trying to claim my heart by putting lies in there, by arguing with the truth I already believe.  He is trying to get me to believe that those lies are truth.  He attempts to (and often does) plant doubt in my heart through arguments and pretensions.

But we are commanded to demolish those arguments and pretensions.  TO intentionally destroy and utterly ruin them. How do we do that? By knowing truth and fighting the lies with it. And choosing to believe the truth over the lies.  


captive:
Something kept in confinement, something that is enslaved or dominated.
Confine those lies with the truth of Jesus.  Let the lies be enslaved by the truth and dominated!!

obedient:
Submission.
Make the lies submit to the truth.

The enemy doesn't want us to realize that there is a war going on.  And he definitely doesn't want us to realize the armor and weapons we have in our arsenal.


Ephesians 6 talks about the armor of God.  
Belt of truth: a belt is meant to hold up your pants. When your pants are down you are vulnerable.  Truth keeps you protected from vulnerable positions where the enemy can attack.
Breastplate of Righteousness:  guards your heart and your character.  The largest part of armor guards the most significant source of life.
Feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace:  Ready to run with the Lord because I am resting in Him and at peace with the way he will provide a rescue.
Shield of Faith:  It puts out the attacks of the enemy. A direct guard from the lies the enemy throws at us.  
Helmet of Salvation: guard your mind.
Weapon: The sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. Use His truth to fight against the enemy.  


There is a battle.  It is real.  It is going to eat you alive if you are not ready for it.  God brought me to this verse earlier in the week and I just am amazed at how applicable it is.  

Psalm 55:16

But I call to God, and the Lord saves me.  Evening, morning, and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice.  He ransoms me unharmed from the battle waged against me.  

thankful

Today I am simply thankful.
I am thankful for exactly the place God has me in my life right now. So thankful!

Let me share a little of my thought process.

I am planning a trip to Auburn, Alabama this weekend. I'm also planning on stopping in the ATL to see a friend on my way to Auburn. As I was talking to Tara, my friend in Atlanta, she shared that she may go to a Lecrae concert on Friday night. Oh my gosh! Yes, please!! So I just changed my plans and decided to hang out in Atlanta with Tara Friday night and then head to Auburn Saturday morning. How great is that? I mean really! I am just simply so thankful for the fact that I have the freedom to make those last minute plans (because actually this whole trip was last minute) and then change them! I don't have to work around a work schedule, or a family.

This was actually the coolest part of this revelation . . . I am so stinkin' thankful to be single! 

Yeah, I never thought I'd hear myself say it either. It has not come easily, I will tell you that. But after 22 years of never dating a single boy, and 22 years of God working and molding and shaping my heart, I am finally at a place where I can genuinely tell you that I am thankful to be single. Its so fun! I mean I don't have to check my plans through with someone else, or make sure they don't conflict, and no one is keeping tabs on me! (I think I like that part the best! ha!)


I spent my evening with Jillian and the 30 Day Shred and Tami Taylor and four hours of the Dillion Panthers in Friday Night Lights (yes LE I've finally caught up to where you are!).  Then I read my wall and my sister had posted the most hilarious memory from our insanity days in high school. And again I was just reminded of how thankful I am for this time in my life.  This time of singleness, simplicity (really, life is simple. school, flag football, and Friday Night Lights, yeah, that's simple), friends, road trips, late nights, Jillian, homework, and excitement is so priceless. I'm so thankful for it. I'm usually one to look ahead and plan, but I'm really seeking to stay focused here. To enjoy this time and truly live in it for the next 58 days.

From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live.

Acts 17:26

I love this verse. It is a great reminder the the Lord has not only determined where we should live, but when. That not only does he have a plan for your life, he has a specific timed plan for your life. He knows the exact times of our lives. I just think that is the neatest thing. Tell me we don't have a God who loves us when he plans out the exact times set for our lives!

First one to go . . .

This past weekend my family experienced a very momentous occasion: Chris, my second oldest cousin was the first to get married!

It was a great wedding. Beautiful, outside, perfect weather, great setting, close family and friends, some hilarious moments, and a dance off. The whole weekend was filled with fun moments with family, along with some crazy ones of course.  It was really fun to all be together. It has probably been at least five years since we have all been together and it was great to share such a special day together.  I'm super thankful for my family and the chance we had to be together.

First time the five of us have been together since May.

All the cousins, including our newest cousin

The 3 Fuller girls

One really cool thing about the wedding was the anniversary dance. I hadn't seen this before and thought it was really neat.  All the couples go out on the floor and then leave the dance floor as their anniversary is called. Like first anyone who is dating, then married for 1, 5, 10, and so on.  My grandparents were the last ones on the floor. They have been married for 60 years.  60 years!!! That is three times the length of my life! I mean it is entirely a lifetime! I can't imagine all they have been through together in that amount of time.  It just reminded me of how blessed I am to have such a wonderful family, starting from the faithfulness my grandparents share.  I mean look how cute they are!!

It was a great weekend. A great time being with family and celebrating the commitment Chris and Lisa made to each other.  That sweet dance my grandparents shared was a great reminder of the Lord's faithfulness.  If two flawed people, as great as my grandparents are they are still sinful humans, can remain faithful and committed to each other for a lifetime, how much more faithful is my Jesus. My Jesus, who is perfect and absolutely blameless, is so faithful and he goes to such incredible lengths to show his children his faithfulness.  Thank you Lord for such a wonderful reminder.  

Praise the Lord, all you nations;

extol him, all you peoples.

For great is his love toward us, 

and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever. 

Praise the Lord

Psalm 117

facing Jericho

I have a confession to make.
It is one that I'm really not super thrilled to uncover.

I have a lot of fears.

Probably more than you would expect.  But I don't like a lot of people to know that.  I either avoid things I am afraid of, or I fake it and pretend I am fine when I am really freaking out!!

I'm also very competitive.  That has become somewhat of a mask for my fear.  I do things that I am deathly afraid of because I want to keep up with everyone around me.

For example, this weekend my brother was climbing all over the roof. Of course, I have to be able to do everything he can do, so I followed him up the roof, but was petrified and legitimately thought it might be the last thing I would ever do.  But afterwards, when I once again had my feet safely on the ground, I was thankful I had gone up on that roof. It was a fun memory and we got some really fun pictures.

But, sometimes I don't do things because I am afraid.  I've come to realize that some things aren't worth being afraid of, but sometimes my fear definitely wins and I let it.

Lately, life has been super frightening.  


Almost every time I think about the future I burst into tears because I am afraid.  Afraid that I won't make a good enough grade on a test and I won't pass a class this semester (that would be awful. yet, it is highly unlikely).  Afraid that I won't end up with a job I enjoy.  Afraid that I won't figure out what God wants me to do with my life in time. Afraid that I'll miss the opportunities God has for me. Afraid that I will mess up whatever plan God has.


Most of all, I think I'm afraid that I won't make the right choice.  


I know I have good intentions to do God's will and to follow His plan. But I'm afraid that either I won't understand what God is telling me, or I will be too afraid of what He is saying and I will make the wrong choice. I'm afraid that I will let my fear rule my decisions.  


I'm afraid that my fear will get the best of me.  


Seriously, if that is not about the most ridiculous thing I've said in a while I don't know what is.

But fear is a big deal.  A BIG DEAL!


Take a look at Joshua 1 with me.

God commands Joshua three times in this chapter to be strong and courageous.  


v. 6: "Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them."
v. 7: "Be strong and very courageous."
v. 9: "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."


I really identify with Joshua.
Skim numbers 13 and 14 really quick.  You'll see that Joshua was one of the spies sent into Canaan to explore the land.  His name was actually  Hoshea at the time.  Hoshea means salvation.  Moses gave him the name Joshua, which means "the Lord saves".

When the spies returned they reported that the land was flowing with milk and honey, just as God had promised.  But there were giants in the land and the men were afraid and convinced that they would not be victorious.  So, God gave them over to their fears and banished them to the desert for 40 years and said that they would all die before God would allow His people to enter the promised land.
However, there were two spies who were confident and believed that the Lord would deliver them.  Caleb and Joshua.  It is actually Caleb who speaks up and says that they should go and take the land.  When God is speaking to Moses and informing him of how he will punish the people for their doubt, God mentions that Caleb "has a different spirit and follows me wholeheartedly" (Numbers 14:24).  Joshua isn't even mentioned until later.  God promises that every person over 20 years-old will die before they go to the promised land, except Caleb and Joshua.

Forty years later we see Joshua leading the people into the promised land.  What happened?

I have a theory.
Now, I realize my theory may be totally inaccurate, and I don't claim to be a biblical scholar, so don't take this as absolute truth, it is simply my opinion.

I think Joshua had some very real fears (Okay, who wouldn't when they are charged with leading an entire nation and conquering a whole region?? That's not my point). I think Joshua was initially very afraid, yet He was confident that the Lord would do what he had promised.  I think as time went on God was working in Joshua's heart and teaching Him to believe what had been promised instead of letting fear rule in his life.

We know Joshua believed God would deliver them to the promised land.  Otherwise, he would have died with the rest of the Israelites who were over 20 years-old. But in Joshua 1, we see God's direct dialogue with His servant.  God knew Joshua's heart better than he did. God knew exactly what Joshua needed to hear, and just what he needed to believe.

Joshua may have looked like the bravest guy out there, but we get to see a glimpse into his heart.  He was facing some real fears.  I think it is neat to see how God's words change as he goes throughout the chapter. First he says "Be strong and courageous." Then its, "Be strong and very courageous."  And finally he says "have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous!!"

I can totally identify with Joshua here.  I so believe God. I so trust Him.  But I'm probably not going to be the one jumping up and down saying, "YES we can conquer the giants!!" I'd definitely let Caleb do that. Yea, I'd back him up, but I'm not going to be the one coming out with that.
And as I read through what God says to Joshua, I hear my own heart reacting.
"Missy, be strong and courageous."
"Ok Lord, I can so do that! I can conquer this! Well, I can try."
"No, Missy, be strong and very courageous."
"Oh, right. Yes, you have made me strong, and I will be courageous."
But as God continues to put a charge on my heart I find myself getting distracted and letting fear slip back in.  But he knows. He knows exactly what my scared little heart is thinking. Thats when he says:
"Hey! remember what I just said! Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous!"

Hear me say I definitely don't have this one down. It is hard to only be strong and courageous. Real hard.  But we are commanded to be that way!

Lord, I want to live in a way that is only strong and courageous! I want to follow you with my whole heart and not let my fear get in the way!  Give me courage! Give me opportunities to trust you more and more reasons to believe that you will deliver me. Let me see your strength and rely on you instead of my own. Oh Jesus, be patient with me because we both know that my heart is far from being only strong and courageous.  

saying good-bye to compulsiveness

Sometimes I can be slightly OCD. No big deal. I just like things my perfect way. This is definitely something I struggle with, and in recent months have realized the incredibly unattainable standards I have held myself to.

I will admit this blog is something I have become a little compulsive about.  I would love to make an entry every day, or at the very MOST every other day.  Well, that is just not possible. Self . . . you need to die and get over that.

Here's what I've learned.

Life is not perfect, predictable, or in any sense normal. It just isn't (haha I know, could've seen this one coming). But really. As much as we try to control things, we just can't. School gets crazy, people are unpredictable, we get distracted, it goes on and on.  But one thing we can count on, "my times are in your hands." Psalm 31:15.

I really wanted to make like 10 entries and change the date so it would look like I had been posting all along this last week. Ha. I know, that would be lying. But there are a lot of things I have really wanted to blog about but just haven't had the time. So, if you want, read till the end.  Life is just funny and I'd love to share it with you . . .

1.  Last week I went to the career fair.  It was very intimidating. I did not want to go.  I was feeling very confused about what I felt like I was hearing God was telling me to do with my life.  The thought of going to the job fair just made me frustrated and anxious.  But I pressed on and ironed my fancy shirt (which took forever), got my suit out of the back of my closet, printed out about 20 updated resumes, and headed out to Thompson Boling Arena.
As I was heading in I was reciting a verse.  Can I just tell you how powerful the word of God is? It truly has the power to put our hearts at rest.

Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God.

Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, 

but our competence comes from God.  

He has made us ministers of a new covenant-

not of the letter but of the Spirit-

for the letter kills but the Spirit gives life.

2 Corinthians 3:4-6

What a wonderful reminder! As I was walking into that job fair, scared out of my mind, Jesus was so gently reminding me that my confidence needed to fully rest in Him. That even though I felt bad about going, he was faithful to work his plan out in my life.  I didn't need to rely how well I could convince prospective employers that I was awesome, but I could rely on the fact that he was the one that was ultimately working and orchestrating who I was going to talk to.  What a great thing to rely on in the midst of such uncertainty.

2.  I don't know how many of you followers are VOLS fans.  But if you watched last Saturday's game . . . well, hm.  Despite such a disappointing loss, I had a revelation. 

Every single week we (as in all the fans of the VOLS) place all of our hopes on 30 or so 18 to 22 year-olds and one middle aged dad.  We, for the most part, forget their past faults, and strive to see the best in them for 60 minutes.  We cling so tightly to their performance. We hang on their every move.  We don't stop believing in them until that clock reads 0:00.  Some weeks our hope is affirmed (yes, I know, not too much lately, but stay with me).  Some weeks our hopes are brutally crushed. Brutally crushed!  We are disappointed, we may even get upset. 

But fast forward seven days.  

We put all our hopes once again in those 30 or so guys who actually get time on the field. We trust that middle aged dad to make perfect decisions once again.  We forget their past failures.  All our hopes are once again focused on those boys for another 60 minutes. 

Why? Why do we continually put our trust in something that is so unfaithful. Why are we so quick to bounce back even though we have been let down time after time? 

And why do we refuse to trust the Lord when things don't go our way? He doesn't have a losing record. He never fails us. Never leaves us. Never forsakes us.  I'm willing to trust boys that I don't even know, but not willing to trust the one who made me and knows me more intimately than anyone ever could. Where is the disconnect? Why do we give God one chance but give the Vols so many? Who has a better track record? Who is willing to put His life on the line for you, even though you choose to not trust him.  

Isaiah 2:22 says "Stop trusting in man, who has but a breath in his nostrils.  Of what account is he?"

The phrase "stop trusting in" means to "cease from" or "give up on".  Stop trusting in man who is frail and of limited wisdom. Stop relying on those that are going to fail you. Put your faith, your whole faith, in the one who is worthy to be believed.  

Honestly, I have a few other things to blog about.  But it is 2:27am and I am waking up in 5 hours to head to Virginia for  my cousins wedding.  Oh yes, a weekend with the extended family.  There is bound to be something blog worthy!

So good-bye compulsiveness. I'll get around to all of these stored up blogs. I will not be a slave to the perfection. I'm blogging because I enjoy it. Not because I have to.