So Sunday was the half marathon. This was the second half I was going to do. It shouldn't be hard right? I mean I've done this before. And last year I ran it in 2 hours and 7 minutes. Awesome. Just under a 10 minute mile pace. So this year I should run it at a 9 mile pace, and under 2 hours. Great plan.
10 weeks of training later . . .
Race day! whoohoo!! I was so ready to just destroy that half. Like kill it and beast up those hills. Lets go. Under Armor outfit: check. Hydrated: check. Sweet new playlist: check. Spectators ready to cheer: check. Olive Garden dinner: check.
So I walk down to the start line with my friend Julie, but then I lost her. I had to pee. The line was 187 people long. The gun goes off. ok i'll pee later. My playlist starts, OH its on shuffle! Now the art of race playlist making is very delicate. The timing has to be perfect. My pace has to be accurate, as well as the timing to match the terrain (like I need some Justin Bieber to get me up a hill, and some Lecrae to make me move on a flat, and some Matt Wertz at the beginning so I don't go too fast.) So needless to say I panicked a little. OK. Problem solved. But I still had to pee. Praying I would sweat it off. Good thing it wasn't really hot enough to sweat. But then God provided a port-a-potty, with almost no line. Problem #2 solved. And then I found Becky. Pure Grace. Mile 3. Time: 25:24. awesome. I am moving. oh boy. this actually could be a bad situation. Trying to ignore that fact, I continued up the next hill. Ok, so I have always prided myself in the fact that I BOOK up hills. Like thats my thing. I'll walk off and on during a race, but NEVER up a hill. Hills are mine. I destroy them. Well this first hill should have been an indication of the remainder of huge Knoxville hills over the next 10 miles. My legs quit on me. No more beasting. I was crawling. I would have walked it faster. Lord what is happening to me? I don't understand!! Thankfully there was a water station at the top. So at this point, which is about mile 3.5 I really started to struggle. 9.6 miles left. Oh no. Lord I'm gunna need some grace! So I focused on just getting to Cherokee Blvd. Well Cherokee didn't add any comfort or reassurance, or endurance for that matter. In fact about 100 people passed me. I knew my pride was driving me to keep going. The fact that I wanted to make this time goal so bad. I crossed the half way point just under an hour. Ok so maybe I could still do this.
But then I think God just really wanted me to rely on HIM. I had no more strength. But I have trained for this! I should be able to do this. Wow. Only now as I'm writing this (and He's bringing me to tears) am I realizing what He may have been doing. He was stripping me of all of those things I had become so dependent on. My training. My hills. My playlist. No, He wanted me to depend on HIM. and NOT put unrealistic expectations on myself. Dang.
Anyway. Mile 7 is straight up hill. yeah. I tried. Again, from a sprint to a crawl in about 3.5 seconds. But my family was at the top. Dad, Carrie, Dan, and Emily. Thanks guys! With signs that said "If I fake it I don't have it" and "could everybody please slow down" and the classic "Keep going you can do it!". Awesome. And then I saw Juile and Logan. Right behind me. Finally a little inspiration. So the next four miles continued to be rough. I wanted to cry. But then God made the sun come out! Can I just mention how many times I prayed that it wouldn't rain during the race! That it would be sunny!! Thank you Jesus! He did that just for me! BUT I WAS STILL STRUGGLING. Man story of my life. So skip to mile 11. The wall. And the hill. So my playlist is still going strong, Make War by Tedashii comes on. Awesome. One of the best "pump-you-up-for-a-run" songs ever. I start up the hill. "I can do this" and then you know who has the nerve to tell me I can't. To try to lie to me. To get me to give up! NO! I'm not going to live defeated. "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." So simple, yet so brilliant. Yes Jesus. Help me Lord. Now I just want to finish. No time, no place. Lord I just want to cross the finish line. And God is faithful! I crossed that finish line. 2 hours and 11 minutes. I will not be defeated. No this race is a story of VICTORY!! V for VICTORY. Thank you Jesus.
Even through the pain and the struggle God still came through. He still provided. Always. It may not have been the way I wanted to finish the race, but it was the way HE wanted me to finish that race. Oh such is life. Let my plans fail Lord. Yours are so much better anyway!
Proverbs 2:7-8
He holds victory in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones. Then you will understand what is right and just and fair--every good path.
