I will admit this blog is something I have become a little compulsive about. I would love to make an entry every day, or at the very MOST every other day. Well, that is just not possible. Self . . . you need to die and get over that.
Here's what I've learned.
Life is not perfect, predictable, or in any sense normal. It just isn't (haha I know, could've seen this one coming). But really. As much as we try to control things, we just can't. School gets crazy, people are unpredictable, we get distracted, it goes on and on. But one thing we can count on, "my times are in your hands." Psalm 31:15.
I really wanted to make like 10 entries and change the date so it would look like I had been posting all along this last week. Ha. I know, that would be lying. But there are a lot of things I have really wanted to blog about but just haven't had the time. So, if you want, read till the end. Life is just funny and I'd love to share it with you . . .
1. Last week I went to the career fair. It was very intimidating. I did not want to go. I was feeling very confused about what I felt like I was hearing God was telling me to do with my life. The thought of going to the job fair just made me frustrated and anxious. But I pressed on and ironed my fancy shirt (which took forever), got my suit out of the back of my closet, printed out about 20 updated resumes, and headed out to Thompson Boling Arena.
As I was heading in I was reciting a verse. Can I just tell you how powerful the word of God is? It truly has the power to put our hearts at rest.
Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God.
Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves,
but our competence comes from God.
He has made us ministers of a new covenant-
not of the letter but of the Spirit-
for the letter kills but the Spirit gives life.
2 Corinthians 3:4-6
What a wonderful reminder! As I was walking into that job fair, scared out of my mind, Jesus was so gently reminding me that my confidence needed to fully rest in Him. That even though I felt bad about going, he was faithful to work his plan out in my life. I didn't need to rely how well I could convince prospective employers that I was awesome, but I could rely on the fact that he was the one that was ultimately working and orchestrating who I was going to talk to. What a great thing to rely on in the midst of such uncertainty.
2. I don't know how many of you followers are VOLS fans. But if you watched last Saturday's game . . . well, hm. Despite such a disappointing loss, I had a revelation.
Every single week we (as in all the fans of the VOLS) place all of our hopes on 30 or so 18 to 22 year-olds and one middle aged dad. We, for the most part, forget their past faults, and strive to see the best in them for 60 minutes. We cling so tightly to their performance. We hang on their every move. We don't stop believing in them until that clock reads 0:00. Some weeks our hope is affirmed (yes, I know, not too much lately, but stay with me). Some weeks our hopes are brutally crushed. Brutally crushed! We are disappointed, we may even get upset.
But fast forward seven days.
We put all our hopes once again in those 30 or so guys who actually get time on the field. We trust that middle aged dad to make perfect decisions once again. We forget their past failures. All our hopes are once again focused on those boys for another 60 minutes.
Why? Why do we continually put our trust in something that is so unfaithful. Why are we so quick to bounce back even though we have been let down time after time?
And why do we refuse to trust the Lord when things don't go our way? He doesn't have a losing record. He never fails us. Never leaves us. Never forsakes us. I'm willing to trust boys that I don't even know, but not willing to trust the one who made me and knows me more intimately than anyone ever could. Where is the disconnect? Why do we give God one chance but give the Vols so many? Who has a better track record? Who is willing to put His life on the line for you, even though you choose to not trust him.
Isaiah 2:22 says "Stop trusting in man, who has but a breath in his nostrils. Of what account is he?"
The phrase "stop trusting in" means to "cease from" or "give up on". Stop trusting in man who is frail and of limited wisdom. Stop relying on those that are going to fail you. Put your faith, your whole faith, in the one who is worthy to be believed.
Honestly, I have a few other things to blog about. But it is 2:27am and I am waking up in 5 hours to head to Virginia for my cousins wedding. Oh yes, a weekend with the extended family. There is bound to be something blog worthy!
So good-bye compulsiveness. I'll get around to all of these stored up blogs. I will not be a slave to the perfection. I'm blogging because I enjoy it. Not because I have to.
