I did not realize how much I love Rebekah, Isaac's wife, until now. She is quite the strong woman. And I think I have gained a little bit of perspective on her deceitful act later in her life.
When Rebekah decides to go with Abraham's servant to become Isaac's wife, she is not only leaving her home, but her family and everything familiar in her life. There was no way of communicating with her family once she left, and it wasn't likely she would see them again (I just tried to look up how far it was, fail. But lets be real, its not like she is about to jump on a camel and head there for a weekend).
Not only was it brave of her to leave her family, but she was agreeing to marry a man she had never seen. I understand how normal that was at the time, but I know I would be very leery to do the same.
Then Rebekah is barren. This is only briefly mentioned in saying that Isaac was praying for her because she was barren. But then God, seemingly immediately, answers his prayer. If I know anything, I know the answer to this prayer could not have been immediate. Meaning that Rebekah dealt with a season of barrenness. This is such a horrible situation for a woman to endure. If she could not provide Isaac with a child she was worthless to him. No worth and no future. There I times I have walked those feelings, and it is an incredibly dark place.
But then God opens her womb and allows her to conceive, not one, but two sons! But then, sweet Rebekah has a terribly painful pregnancy. Genesis 25:22 "The babies jostled each other within her, and she said, 'Why is this happening to me?" The Hebrew word she uses is one that is used in a sense of despising and expressing contempt.
Have I walked in her shoes! Oh how I have said those same words! I have been dealing with migraines my whole life. In the past two years they have reached an unbearable frequency. I've tried so many things and now I am on an unbelievably difficult nutritional plan. I have even stopped running all together (hence why there was no celebratory post about the Chicago marathon I had already signed up for). It has been incredibly difficult. Dark, and hopeless at times. No, I do not get one every day, but getting between three and four migraines a week qualifies as dealing with chronic pain. I cannot tell you how many times I have yelled and cried and pleaded with God to take it away, feeling like I cannot take getting one more. I'm still totally lost. I still have no idea how to change or help this situation, when nothing seems to be working. "Why is this happening to me?"
The Lord answers Rebekah. He explains to her that the children in her womb are two great nations. He promises her a future. He gives a once barren woman a glimpse into the future of her offspring. I am certain it helped her get through her difficult pregnancy.
So what about those of us who haven't seen a direct glimpse of our future? What if God doesn't come down and speak to me directly about my issue. What am I supposed to cling to? There is plenty of scripture that comes to mind. But in this moment I simply need confirmation. Since I can't see it for my own life I need to remember how faithful God has been in my past, and to His people in the past. Genesis has been a great reminder of that. I wish there was an easy fix, a guarantee. God wants me to trust him with my future. And that is a conscience decision I am going to have to choose to make every day.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Saturday, November 3, 2012
I'm not making this up!
I have been reading through the Bible chronologically since September with my high school small group. We started in Genesis, then at chapter 11 switched to Job. Job was tough. But we made it through! Now we are back in Genesis and I am just eating it up. The Lord is revealing so much more than I have ever seen before. I'm so excited!
Genesis 18:1-15
God sends messengers to Abraham (Abram and Sarai received new names, and are now called Abraham and Sarah). The messengers speak from the Lord and tell Abraham that by the same time the next year, Sarah will have a child! I mean great news right! But Sarah doesn't believe him.
It has always been difficult for me to understand why it is such a big deal when people (me) don't believe what God promises.
When I tell a friend something true, and they laugh at me and tell me there is no way it is possible, I get very offended. I want to shake them and say "Hello! Why would I make this up!??!!"
God must have a similar reaction. I can't believe why Sarah didn't believe that she would have a child, yet I can sit here and not believe things God promises to me every day. Like forgiveness, provision, protection. I still try to give Hagar to Abraham and do things my own way.
Lord Jesus, help me overcome my unbelief. Its not like you have a history of lying to me!
A Bigger Purpose
Reading through Genesis has been so great. It has solidified how much I need to simply trust God and his promises.
Genesis 15 is when God makes a covenant with Abram. Abram is worried about his future, about the fact that another man's son will be his heir. But God makes a promise to Abram saying, "Look up at the heavens and count the stars--if in fact you can count them. So shall your offspring be." Then it says that "Abram believed the Lord, and he credited it to him as righteousness." Just for simply believing God's plan for his future Abram is counted righteous.
Later in the chapter God goes into detail about the future of Abram's descendants. He tells Abram about the slavery of the Israelites in Egypt, but also of their deliverance. God promises Abram that his children will return to the land he has promised, but not until the fourth generation.
This is what hit me so strongly this time. Verse 16 says "In the fourth generation your descendants will come back here, for the sin of the Amorites has not yet reached its full measure."
God was waiting to bring the Israelites back from Egypt until the sin of the Amorites had "reached its full measure" so the Israelites could wipe them out.
God's plan has so many factors. Factors that I cannot even begin to comprehend or understand. The Israelites were in captivity in Egypt for 400 years! They had to wait patiently for God's deliverance so that God could carry out every aspect of his plan.
Oh if I could only have a greater understanding of God's plan. I spend so much time concerned about what I think is significant, when it turns out to be only minute details. God's glory should be my ultimate purpose. My faith is so fragile, that I feel abandoned when I am in captivity. In reality, God is waiting for the perfect time to wipe out his enemies and bring glory to himself.
Genesis 15 is when God makes a covenant with Abram. Abram is worried about his future, about the fact that another man's son will be his heir. But God makes a promise to Abram saying, "Look up at the heavens and count the stars--if in fact you can count them. So shall your offspring be." Then it says that "Abram believed the Lord, and he credited it to him as righteousness." Just for simply believing God's plan for his future Abram is counted righteous.
Later in the chapter God goes into detail about the future of Abram's descendants. He tells Abram about the slavery of the Israelites in Egypt, but also of their deliverance. God promises Abram that his children will return to the land he has promised, but not until the fourth generation.
This is what hit me so strongly this time. Verse 16 says "In the fourth generation your descendants will come back here, for the sin of the Amorites has not yet reached its full measure."
God was waiting to bring the Israelites back from Egypt until the sin of the Amorites had "reached its full measure" so the Israelites could wipe them out.
God's plan has so many factors. Factors that I cannot even begin to comprehend or understand. The Israelites were in captivity in Egypt for 400 years! They had to wait patiently for God's deliverance so that God could carry out every aspect of his plan.
Oh if I could only have a greater understanding of God's plan. I spend so much time concerned about what I think is significant, when it turns out to be only minute details. God's glory should be my ultimate purpose. My faith is so fragile, that I feel abandoned when I am in captivity. In reality, God is waiting for the perfect time to wipe out his enemies and bring glory to himself.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
The How
I was reading in Genesis 12 the other day. It is a familiar story, but I was struck with the weight of it.
Abram is called by God and travels to Canaan. During his journey there is a famine in the land so he travels to Egypt for a while to live there because the famine is so bad. He has his wife Sarai say that she is Abram's sister. Sarai is beautiful and Abram fears that Pharaoh will kill him and take Sarai as his wife.
Pharaoh does take Sarai as his wife, but also blesses Abram with sheep and cattle, donkeys, and servants. However, Pharaoh's household is inflicted with serious diseases because of Sarai. Pharaoh is very upset and quickly sends Abram and Sarai away.
God promised Abram a future and called him to a new land. There is a famine in the land and Abram decides to go to Egypt where there is food. If God had called him, did he not believe that God would provide food for him during a famine? God did not tell Abram to go to Egypt. Abram takes the "how" of his future into his own hands. Then Abram does not trust God with the "how" of the safety of himself and his family. He decides to come up with his own plan for his safety and ends up making a fool of himself.
I certainly identify with Abram. I so often feel like I am responsible for the "how" of my future. Yes, God may have called me to something very specific, but I seem to believe that I am responsible for getting myself there. In my distrust I just end up looking foolish.
God does not go back on his promises and he will provide for the how. I need to stop trying so hard!
Saturday, March 24, 2012
the greatest thing to ever happen to my running
Last weekend I ran six miles.
I woke up early because I had a busy day and got out the door.
Approximately seven minutes into my run I felt very dehydrated. And it was hot. It was 9:00 am and already 70 degrees. Normally I run in the evening and have all day to hydrate.
So that wasn't fun.
Then around mile 2.5 I started to feel a blister forming on my left heel. I walked up a hill (because I was dehydrated and about to die) which only made the blister worse.
I couldn't run fast because I was dehydrated and I couldn't walk because it felt like someone was twisting a knife around in my heel.
So I inched along and finished my six miles in 74 minutes.
After complaining about my blister for the next 15 hours my dad suggested that I wear two pairs of socks. Something about the way the friction in your shoe is redistributed to the socks instead of your skin. Hm . . .
Today I ran seven miles. I ran in the afternoon and felt like a million bucks because I was hydrated.
There were no knives twisting around in my heel today, because I had on two pairs of socks!
It was a stinking amazing run! Seven miles in 68 minutes.
What I learned:
1. Hydrate.
2. Wear two pairs of socks
3. Dad is a genius.
I woke up early because I had a busy day and got out the door.
Approximately seven minutes into my run I felt very dehydrated. And it was hot. It was 9:00 am and already 70 degrees. Normally I run in the evening and have all day to hydrate.
So that wasn't fun.
Then around mile 2.5 I started to feel a blister forming on my left heel. I walked up a hill (because I was dehydrated and about to die) which only made the blister worse.
I couldn't run fast because I was dehydrated and I couldn't walk because it felt like someone was twisting a knife around in my heel.
So I inched along and finished my six miles in 74 minutes.
After complaining about my blister for the next 15 hours my dad suggested that I wear two pairs of socks. Something about the way the friction in your shoe is redistributed to the socks instead of your skin. Hm . . .
Today I ran seven miles. I ran in the afternoon and felt like a million bucks because I was hydrated.
There were no knives twisting around in my heel today, because I had on two pairs of socks!
It was a stinking amazing run! Seven miles in 68 minutes.
What I learned:
1. Hydrate.
2. Wear two pairs of socks
3. Dad is a genius.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Stealing My Heart
I honestly cannot believe all that has happened in the last year. It is so far from what I anticipated as I walked across the stage in Thompson Boling Arena in my cap and gown last December.
There was one thing in particular I planned to do, and that was get involved at Fellowship Bible Church and lead a high school small group. That was probably the only thing I expected. What I didn't expect was for 14 fifteen-year-old girls to completely steal my heart.
I have learned so much watching these precious girls grow in their walks with the Lord and their relationships with each other. It has only been eight months, but it feels like I have known these girls forever. I cannot imagine life without them. And I know I cannot leave Nashville until the summer of 2015.
There was one thing in particular I planned to do, and that was get involved at Fellowship Bible Church and lead a high school small group. That was probably the only thing I expected. What I didn't expect was for 14 fifteen-year-old girls to completely steal my heart.
At camp this fall
At our awesome Princess Party
Playing on the trampoline at our sleepover
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Valentine's Day
Another Valentine's Day is lurking around the corner.
My earliest memories of Valentine's day are those from Elementary school. The days I was petrified to accidentally give a boy in the class a Barbie themed card that said "I love you" or "Be Mine". I was careful to give those only to my girl friends. I strategically plotted out who in the class deserved which special saying. My dad helped us make the greatest Valentine boxes. The greatest ones being my brother's, shaped like a train engine or a car.
My first horrid Valentine experience was when a boy in the class addressed my Valentine to "Missie". I was mortified! I could not believe someone would spell my name that way.
I don't remember many Valentine's from middle school and high school. I know for a few years I wore pink, but always said "I should've worn black today" to my friends. I always tried to act like the girl that didn't care about love and thought it was dumb. Clearly a defense mechanism. It was simply a way for me to guard my emotions against feeling sorry for myself that there wasn't a boy in my life. It was how I coped with feeling invisible, how I delt with wanting an Aaron Carter look-a-like to surprise me with flowers.
My parents always made Valentine's day special. Mom would put little chocolates and notes in my lunch, Dad would get my sister and I flowers, and I am thankful for that. They helped me understand that life was not about boys and trying to be noticed. They told me that I was special and loved and that is all I really needed.
Valentine's Day of my senior year of high school is one to remember. I headed to my locker after one of my classes and was thrilled at what I saw! A beautiful bouquet of flowers and a precious stuffed bear croweded in amongst my backpack and books. Sweet mom. She knew that I needed to be surprised and feel special. My brother had my locker combination and put the flowers in at some point during the day. Yes, as a 17 year old girl I will admit I was disappointed that they were from my mom instead of a boy. But I still had flowers on Valentine's day, and I knew I was special.
Every single Valentine's Day in college I hoped for a flawless bouquet of one dozen bright red roses to show up at my apartment door . Much to my disappointment, no such flowers ever surfaced.
And now, here I am. Twenty-three years-old. Gearing up to face another Valentine's Day.
There is nothing bad about Valentine's Day. It just makes me hope for something I don't have. A hope that isn't quenched by dinner with my girlfriends or flowers from my dad. I love those things, but its like buying an imitation Coach purse from China Town. You know its fake, and when the excitement of back rooms and sketchy vans wears off, you still don't have a designer purse.
I swing from one extreme to the other. Attempting to convince myself that I absolutely do not need a man to improve my quality of life. Wishing I had someone tall enough to wear my four inch heels with. Flooding my thoughts with scripture that God has a plan for my life which may or may not include being married. Reminding myself of all of the guys who have crossed my path and why I'm thankful I didn't just "follow my heart." Blaring Kelly Clarkson from my ipod as I run off my frustration and confusion. Knowing and believing that Jesus, by Himself, can show me how unconditional his love is for me.
After all that, I always end up right in the middle, hoping for flowers.
My earliest memories of Valentine's day are those from Elementary school. The days I was petrified to accidentally give a boy in the class a Barbie themed card that said "I love you" or "Be Mine". I was careful to give those only to my girl friends. I strategically plotted out who in the class deserved which special saying. My dad helped us make the greatest Valentine boxes. The greatest ones being my brother's, shaped like a train engine or a car.
My first horrid Valentine experience was when a boy in the class addressed my Valentine to "Missie". I was mortified! I could not believe someone would spell my name that way.
I don't remember many Valentine's from middle school and high school. I know for a few years I wore pink, but always said "I should've worn black today" to my friends. I always tried to act like the girl that didn't care about love and thought it was dumb. Clearly a defense mechanism. It was simply a way for me to guard my emotions against feeling sorry for myself that there wasn't a boy in my life. It was how I coped with feeling invisible, how I delt with wanting an Aaron Carter look-a-like to surprise me with flowers.
My parents always made Valentine's day special. Mom would put little chocolates and notes in my lunch, Dad would get my sister and I flowers, and I am thankful for that. They helped me understand that life was not about boys and trying to be noticed. They told me that I was special and loved and that is all I really needed.
Valentine's Day of my senior year of high school is one to remember. I headed to my locker after one of my classes and was thrilled at what I saw! A beautiful bouquet of flowers and a precious stuffed bear croweded in amongst my backpack and books. Sweet mom. She knew that I needed to be surprised and feel special. My brother had my locker combination and put the flowers in at some point during the day. Yes, as a 17 year old girl I will admit I was disappointed that they were from my mom instead of a boy. But I still had flowers on Valentine's day, and I knew I was special.
Every single Valentine's Day in college I hoped for a flawless bouquet of one dozen bright red roses to show up at my apartment door . Much to my disappointment, no such flowers ever surfaced.
And now, here I am. Twenty-three years-old. Gearing up to face another Valentine's Day.
There is nothing bad about Valentine's Day. It just makes me hope for something I don't have. A hope that isn't quenched by dinner with my girlfriends or flowers from my dad. I love those things, but its like buying an imitation Coach purse from China Town. You know its fake, and when the excitement of back rooms and sketchy vans wears off, you still don't have a designer purse.
I swing from one extreme to the other. Attempting to convince myself that I absolutely do not need a man to improve my quality of life. Wishing I had someone tall enough to wear my four inch heels with. Flooding my thoughts with scripture that God has a plan for my life which may or may not include being married. Reminding myself of all of the guys who have crossed my path and why I'm thankful I didn't just "follow my heart." Blaring Kelly Clarkson from my ipod as I run off my frustration and confusion. Knowing and believing that Jesus, by Himself, can show me how unconditional his love is for me.
After all that, I always end up right in the middle, hoping for flowers.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
More on David
Well, unfortunately it has been a few weeks, but back to David . . .
1 Samuel 18 & 19
Saul tries to kill David by throwing his spear at David while he is playing the harp to calm Saul. David makes his escape that night from the king's house. Saul then sends men to David's house to kill him. With Michal's help, David again escapes and flees to Samuel, a prophet of the Lord, at Ramah.
David is clearly in distress. His king is trying to murder him, when he has done nothing but serve and defend the king. David has killed tens of thousands of Philistines to defend Israel and the Lord has been with him and given him great success. But his life is in danger. David writes Psalm 59 about the night when Saul sent men to David's house to kill him . . .
"Deliver me from my enemies, O God: protect me from those who rise up against me. Deliver me from evildoers and save me from bloodthirsty men. See how they wait for me! Fierce men conspire against me for no offense or sin of mine, O Lord. I have done no wrong, yet they are ready to attack me. Arise to help me; look on my plight!" (Ps 59:1-5)
David pours his heart out before the Lord. He expresses his frustration, his fear, and sadness. David is not afraid to be transparent with the Lord. To ask the Lord why, to question his situation. There is nothing wrong with expressing questions and doubts to the Lord. He would rather have us hand our doubts over to him than to let our deceitful hearts try to sort them out.
Look at what David says next:
"O my Strength, I watch for you; you, O God, are my fortress, my loving God. God will go before me and will let me gloat over those who slander me." (v 9-10)
David expresses his emotions to the Lord, but then anchors himself to the truth. He does not let his fear take over or make his decisions. He trusts the Lord and knows that God has promised to make him king of Israel. He believes that God firmly holds his future and keeps his promises.
What surprises me the most about this Psalm is that David then asks for the demise of his enemies. " But do not kill them, O Lord our shield, or my people will forget. In your might make them wander about, and bring them down. For the sins of their mouths, for the words of their lips, let them be caught in their pride. For the curses and lies they utter, consume them in wrath, consume them till they are no more. Then it will be known to the ends of the earth that God rules over Jacob." (v 11-13)
David is not afraid to express the deepest desires of his heart to God. He has no hesitation. He gives the Lord his ugliest desires for the death and demise of his enemies but then expresses his purest desires for the Lord's name to be known.
David knows that if he does not counter his emotion with truth, he will be overcome by grief and fear. He again anchors his feelings to the truth of who God is.
"But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. O my Strength, I sing praise to you; you, O God, are my fortress, my loving God." (v 16-17)
I cannot even express the number of times I have attempted to sort out my emotions on my own, without anchoring them to the truth of who God is. Jeremiah 17:9 says that our hearts are deceitful. I know that is true. I know that when I allow myself to deal with any emotion without focusing first on the Lord, I become lost in lies. But I need to be constantly anchoring my thoughts and emotions to the truth. I need to be reminded that my fortress is the Lord and that He is the only refuge, no matter the circumstance.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
The Five People You Meet at the Gym
Lately all I can think of at the gym is things to blog about or witty sentences to tweet. For some reason all the little things that annoy me are heightened at the gym. While I rarely run into the exact same combination of people at the gym there are always constants.
1. The Slapper
SLAP SMACK SMACK SLAP SLAP SLAP. Every contact with the treadmill sounds as if someone is getting whacked in the face. Painful. And not necessarily in any rhythmic pattern. Just loud, sporadic, uncontrollable slapping.
2. The Starer.
Uh, did you just lose control of your face muscles or are you just a creeper? Nine times out of ten this one is male. Why don't you just go over there and look at yourself in the mirror for awhile? Maybe you'll drop a weight on your foot and have to leave.
3. The Ab Queen
After 15 minutes of light cardio on the elliptical this "ultra-high-metabolism-never-had-to-actually-work-for-this-figure" focuses all her energy on making sure everyone knows how many different exercises she can do with her abs.
4. The Meat Head
"I lift things up and put them down. I stare at myself in the mirror and flex when people look at me."
Oh, I guess there really is nothing else going on in that head of yours.
5. The Intruder
You know what, I think there are actually ten bikes open, not just the one suddenly too close to me. Actually yes, I was using the end of that stretching mat. Oh, no, go ahead! Take the medicine ball I was clearly alternating sets with because yes, in fact I am done even though it is sitting right in front of me. Was it really necessary to pull your weight bench that close to mine when there is now a 20 foot gap between you and the wall?
Thats all. But despite the Slapper, the Starer, the Ab Queen, the Meat Head, and the Intruder, I keep going back to the gym. At least till the weather warms up . . .
Sunday, January 15, 2012
David & Goliath
This study of David and his Psalms starts off with a very familiar story of scripture; David and Goliath.
The story of David and Goliath is from 1 Samuel 17.
A champion named Goliath, who was form Gath, came out of the Philistine camp. He was over nine feet tall. He had a bronze helmet on his head and wore a coat of scale armor of bronze weighing five thousand shekels (about 125lbs)...His spear shaft was like a weaver's rod, and its iron point weighed six hundred shekels . . . Goliath stood and shouted to the ranks of Israel, "Why do you come out and line up for battle? Am I not a Philistine, and are you not servants of Saul? Chose a man and have him come down to me. If he is able to fight and kill me, we will become your subjects; but if I overcome him and kill him, you will become our subjects and serve us. This day I defy the ranks of Israel!"
Imagine the scene. Tens of thousands of Israelite men stand terrified of one single Philistine. These Israelite men have followed their God and Saul, their king, in many battles and the Lord had brought them to victory. Yet here they stand, terrified, hopeless, and unable to turn the situation to their favor.
But then out of no where God brings up a man after his own heart . . .
"Your servant has been keeping his father's sheep. When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth. When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it. Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God"
David then gathers five smooth stones from a nearby stream. He approaches Goliath amongst laughter and ridicule. Not only do the Philistines laugh at him, but his own people are not confident in his ability to conquer the giant. But David knows his strength is in the Lord.
Reaching into his bag and taking out a stone, he slung it and struck the Philistine on the forehead. The stone sank into his forehead, and he fell facedown on the ground.
David's faith in the Lord is incredible. In the midst of certain death, he knows that the Lord has a way to victory. David words in Psalm 11 show us what his heart was feeling as he faced the giant.
In the Lord I take refuge. How then can you say to me "Flee like a bird to your mountain."
The Hebrew word for refuge literally means to seek refuge, flee for protection. David was fleeing to the Lord for protection. While everyone else was literally fleeing to the hills, David was running to the Lord for protection. He knew the Lord had promised to protect him.
I so rarely have faith like David. I so often rely on myself and the things I can do. I am so easily caught up in a works mentality that I forget who my refuge is. I was reading through my journal from when I first went through this passage about David. After a page or so writing about how frustrated I was at myself for trying to do things on my own, I had written a verse.
"Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion . . . " (Isaiah 30:18)
I'll end with this. This truth that the Lord showed me back in September and again opened my heart to today. This is what I had written just under that verse . . .
"Why would you long to be gracious to me?"
"Because you don't know how to be gracious to yourself. I want to give you things you could never dream of deserving."
The story of David and Goliath is from 1 Samuel 17.
A champion named Goliath, who was form Gath, came out of the Philistine camp. He was over nine feet tall. He had a bronze helmet on his head and wore a coat of scale armor of bronze weighing five thousand shekels (about 125lbs)...His spear shaft was like a weaver's rod, and its iron point weighed six hundred shekels . . . Goliath stood and shouted to the ranks of Israel, "Why do you come out and line up for battle? Am I not a Philistine, and are you not servants of Saul? Chose a man and have him come down to me. If he is able to fight and kill me, we will become your subjects; but if I overcome him and kill him, you will become our subjects and serve us. This day I defy the ranks of Israel!"
Imagine the scene. Tens of thousands of Israelite men stand terrified of one single Philistine. These Israelite men have followed their God and Saul, their king, in many battles and the Lord had brought them to victory. Yet here they stand, terrified, hopeless, and unable to turn the situation to their favor.
But then out of no where God brings up a man after his own heart . . .
"Your servant has been keeping his father's sheep. When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth. When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it. Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God"
David then gathers five smooth stones from a nearby stream. He approaches Goliath amongst laughter and ridicule. Not only do the Philistines laugh at him, but his own people are not confident in his ability to conquer the giant. But David knows his strength is in the Lord.
Reaching into his bag and taking out a stone, he slung it and struck the Philistine on the forehead. The stone sank into his forehead, and he fell facedown on the ground.
David's faith in the Lord is incredible. In the midst of certain death, he knows that the Lord has a way to victory. David words in Psalm 11 show us what his heart was feeling as he faced the giant.
In the Lord I take refuge. How then can you say to me "Flee like a bird to your mountain."
The Hebrew word for refuge literally means to seek refuge, flee for protection. David was fleeing to the Lord for protection. While everyone else was literally fleeing to the hills, David was running to the Lord for protection. He knew the Lord had promised to protect him.
I so rarely have faith like David. I so often rely on myself and the things I can do. I am so easily caught up in a works mentality that I forget who my refuge is. I was reading through my journal from when I first went through this passage about David. After a page or so writing about how frustrated I was at myself for trying to do things on my own, I had written a verse.
"Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion . . . " (Isaiah 30:18)
I'll end with this. This truth that the Lord showed me back in September and again opened my heart to today. This is what I had written just under that verse . . .
"Why would you long to be gracious to me?"
"Because you don't know how to be gracious to yourself. I want to give you things you could never dream of deserving."
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
The Sun Will Rise
I came across this song a few days ago and it has been in my head ever since. I have been listening to it over and over and over.
Kelly Clarkson's The Sun Will Rise. (lyrics. song.)
I have now written approximately 15 sentences and deleted all of them. I'm not sure why, but for some reason I feel like I should probably say as little as possible in this post.
My favorite lyric in the song is this,
Jesus is still here. He is still involved. He is still working. He will never give up on you. The Son will rise!
Kelly Clarkson's The Sun Will Rise. (lyrics. song.)
I have now written approximately 15 sentences and deleted all of them. I'm not sure why, but for some reason I feel like I should probably say as little as possible in this post.
My favorite lyric in the song is this,
"I've been stuck in the storm before.
Felt the wind raging at my door.
Couldn't move, couldn't breathe, couldn't find a way out.
Somehow the clouds disappeared, somehow I made it here.
Maybe just so you could hear me say,
The sun will rise!!"
Jesus is still here. He is still involved. He is still working. He will never give up on you. The Son will rise!
Monday, January 9, 2012
Marathon, for real!
Well, on October 7th I will be running 26.2 miles around my favorite city, Chicago, with one of my best friends!
I just spent the couple hours figuring out a solid plan for my marathon. I am loosely basing it off of Hal Higdon's Marathon training plan. I say "loosely" because I have read that it is good to lengthen your training cycle. For example, instead of trying to get all your runs and workouts in in a 7 day period, stretching it out to 10, 14, or even 21 days. This is essentially what I am going to do. I'm extending each week on his plan to a 2 week period. During that 14 day cycle I will get in 6 runs, 1 of which will be a long run, 4 strength workouts, 2 cross training workouts, and 2 rest days.
I have also learned that I train best when my schedule is pretty flexible. I like to be able to move around days, combine workouts, and sometimes skip them all together (yes, I realize the last one is not the greatest). What I have decided to do this time is to plan out my major milage first. I have planned out when I need to be at specific mileage over the next nine months. I have also planned out a few triathlons that I would like to do between now and the marathon. Beyond that, I decided to only plan my runs and workouts for January and February. That way I can re-evaluate how I'm coming in two months and make any necessary changes.
Basically right now I am working on building up my weekly mileage so that I can get to a point where I feel comfortable about working in runs over eight miles. I am also working back into a solid routine with running/workouts since it is now very difficult to run outside in the cold and dark.
I am also working on not killing the people at the gym that made it their New Year's Resolution to work out for the 15th year in a row, who take my treadmill during this crucial time, and will be nowhere to be found come February 1st. Its fine.
I am looking forward to this adventure!! I will continue to update on my training and progress!!
I just spent the couple hours figuring out a solid plan for my marathon. I am loosely basing it off of Hal Higdon's Marathon training plan. I say "loosely" because I have read that it is good to lengthen your training cycle. For example, instead of trying to get all your runs and workouts in in a 7 day period, stretching it out to 10, 14, or even 21 days. This is essentially what I am going to do. I'm extending each week on his plan to a 2 week period. During that 14 day cycle I will get in 6 runs, 1 of which will be a long run, 4 strength workouts, 2 cross training workouts, and 2 rest days.
I have also learned that I train best when my schedule is pretty flexible. I like to be able to move around days, combine workouts, and sometimes skip them all together (yes, I realize the last one is not the greatest). What I have decided to do this time is to plan out my major milage first. I have planned out when I need to be at specific mileage over the next nine months. I have also planned out a few triathlons that I would like to do between now and the marathon. Beyond that, I decided to only plan my runs and workouts for January and February. That way I can re-evaluate how I'm coming in two months and make any necessary changes.
Basically right now I am working on building up my weekly mileage so that I can get to a point where I feel comfortable about working in runs over eight miles. I am also working back into a solid routine with running/workouts since it is now very difficult to run outside in the cold and dark.
I am also working on not killing the people at the gym that made it their New Year's Resolution to work out for the 15th year in a row, who take my treadmill during this crucial time, and will be nowhere to be found come February 1st. Its fine.
I am looking forward to this adventure!! I will continue to update on my training and progress!!
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Potential disaster . . .
I am about to start something that I have always wanted to do. Bear with me, this could be a disaster.
I have always loved King David. I love that God calls David a man after his own heart (Acts 13:22). I love the way David writes exactly what his heart is feeling in the Psalms. But I have always wondered what exactly David was experiencing when he penned those Psalms. What were the circumstances he was facing that were causing those reactions in his heart?
I have always had a "timeline" mindset. I like to know what is going to happen when and in what order. I often remember things better when I recall them in sequence. Anyway, I've always wanted a better grasp on the actual timeline of the Old Testament. I feel like that is something I have never fully understood simply because I have never taken the time to dig into it.
I am a very emotional human. Ha. But not all emotion is bad. God gave us our emotions for a purpose. I have a theory that David was also very emotional (I mean, read any Psalm of his). I want to understand what a Biblical emotional response looks like (if that makes any sense).
Because of all this I have decided to go through David's life and the Psalms chronologically and to blog about it!! I know I am not an expert, and I am going to do as much as I can to be credible. I am excited to dive into this. I am not 100% sure exactly how I want to do this. I think for now I am going to go through David's life and look at the Psalms that match up with his experiences. That may change. Would absolutely love any and all feedback through this! Can't wait!
I have always loved King David. I love that God calls David a man after his own heart (Acts 13:22). I love the way David writes exactly what his heart is feeling in the Psalms. But I have always wondered what exactly David was experiencing when he penned those Psalms. What were the circumstances he was facing that were causing those reactions in his heart?
I have always had a "timeline" mindset. I like to know what is going to happen when and in what order. I often remember things better when I recall them in sequence. Anyway, I've always wanted a better grasp on the actual timeline of the Old Testament. I feel like that is something I have never fully understood simply because I have never taken the time to dig into it.
I am a very emotional human. Ha. But not all emotion is bad. God gave us our emotions for a purpose. I have a theory that David was also very emotional (I mean, read any Psalm of his). I want to understand what a Biblical emotional response looks like (if that makes any sense).
Because of all this I have decided to go through David's life and the Psalms chronologically and to blog about it!! I know I am not an expert, and I am going to do as much as I can to be credible. I am excited to dive into this. I am not 100% sure exactly how I want to do this. I think for now I am going to go through David's life and look at the Psalms that match up with his experiences. That may change. Would absolutely love any and all feedback through this! Can't wait!
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Ponder Anew
Listening to some tunes on Spotify at work today and a lyric caught my attention. It was a line from "Praise to the Lord", a song I've heard at least a hundred times, but today it stuck.
"Ponder anew what the Almighty can do"
Ponder anew what the Almighty can do.
What a great thought at the start of a new year. 2012.
2011 was no cake walk. It actually wasn't even close. I have just come though the hardest year I have ever experienced in my 23 and a half years. I was glad to put 2011 behind and start fresh with a new year! While I know I learned and grew through this incredibly difficult year, I am not at a point where I can see success. I am still trying to understand what exactly it was God was trying to teach me through all of my brokenness. But I am (trying to be) confident of the fact that He is using those trials for my maturity. I am clinging to this verse as I head into the new year . . .
"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast" 1 Peter 5:10
I really love this lyric from the song also, "Ponder anew what the Almighty can do." What a great challenge for 2012. To focus on all the Lord can do in my life, all he wants to do, and all he is going to do.
I do have some specific "goals" for 2012, and a few "resolutions." I've determined a difference. I don't think it is a technical difference, but I'm sticking to it. A goal is a one time event that I have to put forth daily effort in order to achieve. A resolution is a commitment to do something on a daily/weekly/regular basis. Resolutions don't really leave much room for life to just happen, but are necessary to establish a routine. That is why I like goals.
One of my resolutions is to be more consistent with this blog. I absolutely love writing and I definitely get more out of my time with the Lord when I am turning around and writing about it. It just allows me to study more and dig deeper than I would for just myself. I am excited to be more consistent. I have seriously been itching to get back into writing. That is my resolution for 2012.
One of my goals is to run the Chicago marathon on October 7th. I am excited to blog about training. And I am going to sign up on February 1st, so after I shell out that $150 and buy a plane ticket, I'm definitely going to do it!
Looking forward to a new year, a time to ponder anew what my Jesus can and will do!!
"Ponder anew what the Almighty can do"
Ponder anew what the Almighty can do.
What a great thought at the start of a new year. 2012.
2011 was no cake walk. It actually wasn't even close. I have just come though the hardest year I have ever experienced in my 23 and a half years. I was glad to put 2011 behind and start fresh with a new year! While I know I learned and grew through this incredibly difficult year, I am not at a point where I can see success. I am still trying to understand what exactly it was God was trying to teach me through all of my brokenness. But I am (trying to be) confident of the fact that He is using those trials for my maturity. I am clinging to this verse as I head into the new year . . .
"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast" 1 Peter 5:10
I really love this lyric from the song also, "Ponder anew what the Almighty can do." What a great challenge for 2012. To focus on all the Lord can do in my life, all he wants to do, and all he is going to do.
I do have some specific "goals" for 2012, and a few "resolutions." I've determined a difference. I don't think it is a technical difference, but I'm sticking to it. A goal is a one time event that I have to put forth daily effort in order to achieve. A resolution is a commitment to do something on a daily/weekly/regular basis. Resolutions don't really leave much room for life to just happen, but are necessary to establish a routine. That is why I like goals.
One of my resolutions is to be more consistent with this blog. I absolutely love writing and I definitely get more out of my time with the Lord when I am turning around and writing about it. It just allows me to study more and dig deeper than I would for just myself. I am excited to be more consistent. I have seriously been itching to get back into writing. That is my resolution for 2012.
One of my goals is to run the Chicago marathon on October 7th. I am excited to blog about training. And I am going to sign up on February 1st, so after I shell out that $150 and buy a plane ticket, I'm definitely going to do it!
Looking forward to a new year, a time to ponder anew what my Jesus can and will do!!
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