Stealing My Heart

I honestly cannot believe all that has happened in the last year. It is so far from what I anticipated as I walked across the stage in Thompson Boling Arena in my cap and gown last December.

There was one thing in particular I planned to do, and that was get involved at Fellowship Bible Church and lead a high school small group.  That was probably the only thing I expected. What I didn't expect was for 14 fifteen-year-old girls to completely steal my heart.

At camp this fall

At our awesome Princess Party

Playing on the trampoline at our sleepover

I have learned so much watching these precious girls grow in their walks with the Lord and their relationships with each other. It has only been eight months, but it feels like I have known these girls forever.  I cannot imagine life without them. And I know I cannot leave Nashville until the summer of 2015.

Valentine's Day

Another Valentine's Day is lurking around the corner.
My earliest memories of Valentine's day are those from Elementary school. The days I was petrified to accidentally give a boy in the class a Barbie themed card that said "I love you" or "Be Mine". I was careful to give those only to my girl friends. I strategically plotted out who in the class deserved which special saying. My dad helped us make the greatest Valentine boxes. The greatest ones being my brother's, shaped like a train engine or a car.
My first horrid Valentine experience was when a boy in the class addressed my Valentine to "Missie". I was mortified! I could not believe someone would spell my name that way.

I don't remember many Valentine's from middle school and high school. I know for a few years I wore pink, but always said "I should've worn black today" to my friends. I always tried to act like the girl that didn't care about love and thought it was dumb. Clearly a defense mechanism. It was simply a way for me to guard my emotions against feeling sorry for myself that there wasn't a boy in my life. It was how I coped with feeling invisible, how I delt with wanting an Aaron Carter look-a-like to surprise me with flowers.
My parents always made Valentine's day special. Mom would put little chocolates and notes in my lunch, Dad would get my sister and I flowers, and I am thankful for that. They helped me understand that life was not about boys and trying to be noticed. They told me that I was special and loved and that is all I really needed.
Valentine's Day of my senior year of high school is one to remember. I headed to my locker after one of my classes and was thrilled at what I saw! A beautiful bouquet of flowers and a precious stuffed bear croweded in amongst my backpack and books. Sweet mom. She knew that I needed to be surprised and feel special. My brother had my locker combination and put the flowers in at some point during the day. Yes, as a 17 year old girl I will admit I was disappointed that they were from my mom instead of a boy. But I still had flowers on Valentine's day, and I knew I was special.
Every single Valentine's Day in college I hoped for a flawless bouquet of one dozen bright red roses to show up at my apartment door . Much to my disappointment, no such flowers ever surfaced.


And now, here I am. Twenty-three years-old. Gearing up to face another Valentine's Day.

There is nothing bad about Valentine's Day. It just makes me hope for something I don't have. A hope that isn't quenched by dinner with my girlfriends or flowers from my dad. I love those things, but its like buying an imitation Coach purse from China Town. You know its fake, and when the excitement of back rooms and sketchy vans wears off, you still don't have a designer purse.

I swing from one extreme to the other. Attempting to convince myself that I absolutely do not need a man to improve my quality of life. Wishing I had someone tall enough to wear my four inch heels with. Flooding my thoughts with scripture that God has a plan for my life which may or may not include being married. Reminding myself of all of the guys who have crossed my path and why I'm thankful I didn't just "follow my heart." Blaring Kelly Clarkson from my ipod as I run off my frustration and confusion. Knowing and believing that Jesus, by Himself, can show me how unconditional his love is for me.

After all that, I always end up right in the middle, hoping for flowers.

One down, 10 million to go!

I have officially completed my first week at a full time job.

Whew!

It is true . . . you are exhausted and want to go to bed at 9:30 on a Friday night.

This week was hard. Getting adjusted to waking up at 5:40 in the morning and working for eleven hours a day is challenging all on its own, not to mention being thrown into a branch in an area that I am unfamiliar with, but also that I have no idea what I am doing. Our branch is short staffed, there are only 3 of us there, so after about Wednesday morning, I had to do a lot on my own, without feeling confident about what I was even supposed to be doing.

Praise the Lord for his grace! He truly blessed me this first week and gave me success. He allowed me to start off well, and he granted me success. I still have no idea what I am doing though!

Next week I have new hire training. I'm just praying that that will give me some greater insight and confidence into my job.  And I will get paid at the end of the week, that will be a very good thing!

Thinking about how this week is over just makes me think of that line Mr. Sir says in Holes after Stanley digs his first shovel of dirt, "One down, ten million to go!" Welcome to the "real world."

Adult Adventure #1

Today I had my first big adventure of adulthood.

I woke up at 6:40 am, left the house by 8 (which is hours earlier than I have left in a very long time), and headed off to my first day at my full time job!!


Today wasn't that big of a deal, just a lot of paperwork and "this is what you'll be doing," "you should do this in this situation," "this is what you say here," "go get that paper so I can show you what to do." But it was great. I got to come home early, work out with my dad and eat a wonderful dinner that my mom had prepared (yes, living at home, and totally okay with it).

Tomorrow, unfortunately, will be much different.  I have to actually do the things they told me I would have to do.  I am fully expecting to be in tears at some point during the day.

I am so thankful that the Lord has blessed me with this. I am clinging to him, confident that this is exactly where he wants me and that he has an incredible plan for this season of my life.  I know there will be days and weeks and months I will cling to Him like I have never clung to him before. And I am looking forward to those moments more than anything else!

I can't believe that this stage of my life is actually beginning. I just am absolutely shocked at how fast college went.  There were days, months even, that I thought it would never end.  But it has. And yes, I miss college, I miss my friends like no other, I miss the nights of flag football, and I miss the endless nights filled with drama. Yes, I do.  But here life goes, on to the next stage, and as far as I can tell, I think it is going to be great!

So there you have it, my first day as a full time tax payer. I think I'm going to go to bed at 9:30.

New Season

A month a go I finally graduated from college. Yes, it is true! I have stepped into adulthood and am officially a college grad.  It was surreal walking across that stage. I told my family they needed to absolutely cheer for me louder than anyone else would be cheered for. I couldn't really tell if they were loudest, but as I shook the chancellor's hand he said, "Wow, you've got quite a fan club!"Yes I do Mr. Jimmy Cheek, and what a fan club they are.  I am so thankful to have such a wonderful extended family that has supported me throughout my life, for wonderful parents who helped me finish four and a half years of college debt free, and a sister and brother who also chose to attend UT so that we could all be together.

We celebrated the afternoon at Calhoun's on the river, my absolute favorite place to eat in Knoxville, with some of my extended family and a few great friends.  It was wonderful. Unfortunately that night it started to snow so I had to pack up my apartment in a matter of about 2 hours and leave the next morning. It was a little crazy.

The last month of my life, fortunately, has been absolutely not crazy.
I've done a whole lot of staying up late, sleeping in, and laying in my bed for hours in the morning because I simply had nothing to get up for.
I could not tell you how many movies I have streamed from Netflix.
I have been going to the gym more consistently then any other time in my life, thanks to my dad who has been getting me out the door almost every day.
I've completed nine out of twenty-five weeks of my marathon training.
I spent some quality time with my sister, my brother, my mom, and my dad.
I experienced the most traumatic babysitting experience of my life.
I went to my first Alumni football game.

Another big deal this month was that God provided me with a full time job!!
I had interviews the week after I graduated and was offered a job with Enterprise the day before Christmas Eve.  I start this week!
It has been such a blessing to have this time in between finishing college and starting a job. It has also been a blessing that I have known that I have a job and haven't had to look!
I have to wear a suit. Every single day. I've also done a lot of shopping this month. :)

I am more than excited about this new adventure that God has me on. It is going to be . . . actually, I have no idea what it is going to be like. For the first time I feel as if I have no bearing on what I am about to experience. And I'm really excited!!


As I've been making big decisions about jobs this month I have been clinging to these verses:
Psalm 21:2 & 6
You have granted him the desire of his heart--you have not withheld the request of his lips.
Surely you have granted him eternal blessings and made him glad with the joy of your presence.

I've had to realize that God promises to grant me the desires of my heart. And I can be confident that he will do this because they are desires that he puts in my heart. I'm praying that if my desires are not of the Lord that he would remove them from my heart.  He also promises to give us eternal blessings. I know that these definitely mean blessings in heaven with him, but I am also thankful for the ways he is blessing me here on earth.

My favorite part of that is that he is making me glad with the joy of his presence. I have totally seen Him do this recently. And it is nothing I am doing! Jesus is filling my heart with His presence, and allowing me to be glad and satisfied in Him. There is nothing like it!

Thanks for still reading my crazy blog even when I'm not consistent with it! I hope to be more consistent in my new "adult" life and share all of my "adult adventures".

Bess

Today I came home from a long day of finals, studying, and emotional turmoil.  I was expecting the apartment to be in its typical "lived in" condition.  Normally this would not be much of an issue, except for the fact that my family was coming the next day for my graduation.

I walked in the door and was utterly in shock.

The living room was picked up, free of clutter.
The kitchen sink was empty, not an unwashed dish in sight.
The dishwasher was empty.
The counters were clean.
The floor was vacuumed.
And the biggest shock of all . . .
My bathroom was clean!

My incredible roommate Bess had cleaned our entire apartment.  She had taken two and a half hours out of her day to bless me. To clean the apartment because she knew I was stressed about finals.

Bess, thank you again for that incredible blessing.

Galatians 5:13

You, my brothers, were called to be free. 

But do not use your freedom to indulge in the sinful nature;

Rather serve one another in love.

Einstein's

Exactly two weeks ago I committed to blogging about something I was thankful for every day until New Years.
Oh, right, then I had finals and graduation.

Even though I have not been blogging I have been keeping a list. And not just a mental list, but an actual list of things I am incredibly thankful for.  I just have not had time to blog about them.

But I just took my first final (I have three to go and a hole lot of studying still between now and Thursday at 4:45), so I'm taking a break and blogging. Woo!

Today I am very thankful for Einstein Bros Hot Chocolate.
Yesterday I was sitting in Einstein's (it is a bagel place on campus) studying accounting.  I was smelling the coffee and the food coming out of there! Even though I am not a coffee drinker, I really like the smell! Anyway, I got a hot chocolate and had an incredible discovery:

Einstein's has the best hot  chocolate on campus. Seriously. 


Good thing I discovered it four days before I graduate! 
Actually, for my wallet's sake it probably is a good thing! 


So today, after my last accounting exam of my life, I treated myself to a cup of Einstein Bros Hot Chocolate and a blog post. 

Off to another full day of studying!

Gunna be hard to shut us down

I just thought I'd give an update on my flag football season.

Unfortunately, it is over. I have played my last flag football game.

During the last game I had the greatest "pump you up for a flag football game" song ever in my head. You should listen to it while you read.

We'll start with Corec.

Corec is so fun. I just love it. Our team went 1-3. Its fine! It was a blast. We won our last game 43-0. It was great to go out on a W.  And Kelsey and Cory brought Capri Sun and Fruit by the Foot to our last game. It was a blast. Another plus of Corec was getting to play with my brother. He's really good. And I just love being with that guy!

Kels and I with our Capri Sun

My boys team.

Yes, I said boys team. I coached my brother's team.  I mean, as much as a girl can "coach" any guys sports team, I totally did.  And for the most part, they listened to me.  Sometimes I would tell them exactly what the other team was going to do and they wouldn't listen to me. I'd be right, and they'd listen the next time :).  It was really fun, despite the fact that they also went 1-3. The last game was also the win.  They were ahead by a significant margin but the game got called early because the other team had three personal fouls.  After the game was called we stuck around and just messed around for awhile. It as a blast.

Daughters of Lightning.

Daughters of Freaking Lightning . . .
I love it.

We went 5-1-1.  We also played in the 3 on 3 tournament.  I just can't get enough of it. I've been told I'm like a totally different person when I'm playing on my girls' team.  And that if you haven't seen me play flag football, you don't know a whole side of Missy. I'm not going to deny it. I get pretty competitive.

Basically, my team is incredible.  We qualified for playoffs and were ranked third heading into playoffs.  The team we were scheduled to play first we had beat the first week of regular season. We were expecting them to have improved a lot. Not really.  We won 46-6.  It was awesome. Except for the fact that one of our girls tore her ACL.

Giving Coach Daniel a football we all signed

Then we were heading into the semifinals!! whoop! I really wanted to win that game for a number of reasons.  We had never been past the semi's before.  We were playing the BCM for the fourth time in two years.  Every time we have played them it has been close. Like 6-6, 14-7, 12-7 . . . and we were ready to beat them by a significant margin. It was just time.  Well praise the Lord!! We played so stinkin' well, and we beat them 38-0. Yeah. 0. It was awesome!

Li Yin getting a first down

catching for a touchdown

Ruthie being awesome and running past multiple defenders

Amy tearing it up

Catching another touchdown

praying after the game

Finals baby!! Here we come!!
The team we played in the finals was called the Replacements. They are mostly ex-Lady Vols. Like they are not eligible to play their sport anymore and so they are playing flag football. Something like that. Basically they are awesome. And big. Our team is very vertically challenged. At 5'6" and a half I am the tallest on the team.  Last year we played these girls in the semifinals and lost by about 45 points.  We weren't necessarily expecting to win, but we didn't think we would get crushed either.  We were so nervous. I legit almost threw up.

We played that game so stinkin' hard! I don't know that we have ever played that hard or wanted to win a game more. Our defense was absolutely incredible.  It was 0-0 at the half.  You have to understand what a big deal that is. These girls have won every game they have ever played, and have won by like 30 points every time.
 We ended up losing 6-0.  But really, it felt like a win. We kept them to their lowest score ever. It was incredible. So much fun. And I couldn't be more proud. Even though we didn't walk away with a t-shirt, we still felt like champions

Ruthie juking past the fastest girl on their team

Amy being an awesome quarterback

after the finals

with some legends, LE and Tami

First one to go . . .

This past weekend my family experienced a very momentous occasion: Chris, my second oldest cousin was the first to get married!

It was a great wedding. Beautiful, outside, perfect weather, great setting, close family and friends, some hilarious moments, and a dance off. The whole weekend was filled with fun moments with family, along with some crazy ones of course.  It was really fun to all be together. It has probably been at least five years since we have all been together and it was great to share such a special day together.  I'm super thankful for my family and the chance we had to be together.

First time the five of us have been together since May.

All the cousins, including our newest cousin

The 3 Fuller girls

One really cool thing about the wedding was the anniversary dance. I hadn't seen this before and thought it was really neat.  All the couples go out on the floor and then leave the dance floor as their anniversary is called. Like first anyone who is dating, then married for 1, 5, 10, and so on.  My grandparents were the last ones on the floor. They have been married for 60 years.  60 years!!! That is three times the length of my life! I mean it is entirely a lifetime! I can't imagine all they have been through together in that amount of time.  It just reminded me of how blessed I am to have such a wonderful family, starting from the faithfulness my grandparents share.  I mean look how cute they are!!

It was a great weekend. A great time being with family and celebrating the commitment Chris and Lisa made to each other.  That sweet dance my grandparents shared was a great reminder of the Lord's faithfulness.  If two flawed people, as great as my grandparents are they are still sinful humans, can remain faithful and committed to each other for a lifetime, how much more faithful is my Jesus. My Jesus, who is perfect and absolutely blameless, is so faithful and he goes to such incredible lengths to show his children his faithfulness.  Thank you Lord for such a wonderful reminder.  

Praise the Lord, all you nations;

extol him, all you peoples.

For great is his love toward us, 

and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever. 

Praise the Lord

Psalm 117

Happy Birthday

This post is dedicated to the two most incredible women in my life.  My mom and my sister.  They share a birthday. Its today. Happy Birthday Mom and Carrie. I love you.

Let me tell you about these two women in case you haven't have the privilege of knowing them.

My mom is THE most influential woman in my walk with the Lord.  My mom is the most servant hearted person on this earth.  She puts nothing before her kids and her husband.  But my favorite thing about my mom is her passion for the Word. She is incredible at memorizing God's word and takes hiding it in her heart literally.  For as long as I can remember mom has been quoting scripture for practically everything in life.  That is definitely something I am so thankful for.  I can't even tell you the countless rides to school where she would have us going over Scripture memory to get our weekly pack of gum.  She either knew verses from memory or was able to quickly reference one for any situation we were going through.  She is always quick to apologize even when she had done nothing wrong.  She loves her family and is incredibly loyal to her friends.  She is incredibly creative, but always says she isn't (its just because she is comparing herself to my dad, and I mean he is an artist, he makes anyone feel not creative).  She loves puzzles. She hates t.v. because it means we can't talk.  She loves Jesus and seeks to know Him every single day.  She has a heart that beats to be hospitable to others. She loves having fun and is so goofy and crazy.  She loves watching her kids play sports, and she is quite the athlete herself.  She went to Ball State on a gymnastics scholarship.  She can still do an ariel cartwheel and she learned how to wakeboard this summer.  Today is her 50th birthday. Yeah, I don't feel bad about saying that.

Mom, I am so incredibly blessed to have you as my mom. I love you more than I can ever explain to you. You truly are the reason for my walk with the Lord and my love for the Word.  I want to be just like you when I grow up.  I want to be a mom like you who puts her family before absolutely everything.  You are truly an incredible woman of God and are so so wise.  I'm so thankful for you!! Happy Birthday!

Carrie.
My sister.
She is absolutely my best friend in this whole world.  I cannot imagine my life without her.  She is brave. She is strong. She is confident.  Every important memory of my life involves Carrie.  She used to get mad at me for copying her, which I truly did in everything, but I only did it because she is amazing and so cool.  She has been the most athletic girl on the soccer field since the day she stepped on the field at 5 years-old.  She is funny. She can make me laugh like no one else in this world.  She is very strategic.  She is one heck of a prankster, and everything I learned I learned from her.  She can throw a football better than Peyton Manning. She is tough. She takes what life throws at her with incredible bravery, consistency, and persistence.  She is brilliant. If you ever have a question about school or something related to being smart, just give her a call. Even math. She is smarter than she thinks.  She loves Jesus. Oh she so loves Jesus.  She strives to know him and love him.  She seeks Him every day and longs to point other people to Him.  She has a passion for others. She is the most incredible leader I have ever known.  She has an ability to command a group of people and get things done. Even things like having a blast.  She is hilarious when caught off guard, but she hates being scared.  She is an amazing water skiier and a crazy tuber.  She is so fun. She just brings the party.  She is wise and loves to help people and share her wisdom.  There is not a fun memory in my life that doesn't have Carrie in it.

Care,
I just can't say enough wonderful things about you. You are the most amazing woman I know. You are the most faithful friend. The most loving sister. I am so thankful for how close we are. You truly inspire me and I want to be more like you.  I am so so so SO thankful that you are my sister. I am blessed to be the closest person to you and I am privileged that you are the closest person to me. Gosh, I love you.

Mom and Care,
I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you I always pray with joy, because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this that he who began a good work in you will carry it onto completion until the day of Christ Jesus. (Phil 1)

I love you Mom
I love you Care

Happy Birthday!!!!!

Timing

One of my best friends and I went for a little walk today. In the middle of studying we took a break and walked 200 yards to the Weigles on the corner to get some milk.  It was a beautiful night.  As we walked we were realizing how our nights like this are numbered. Nights of frolicking, playing, being together, and not having a ton of things to do. Being so close to the end of college we can taste it, I think we realized just how precious these moments are.  That realization came along with a little regret of missed moments like that one over the last 4 years.

An hour later I'm sitting here on my computer counting the hours I have left to study for the two tests  I have this week and all of the things I have to do within those hours.  Oh boy.

"But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, "You are my God."

My times are in your hands . . ."

Psalm 31:14-15

What a comfort David's words bring! My times are in the hands of the Lord! 

The time I have left to study and all of the studying that needs to get done: In His hands!

The time I have left in college and all of the time I have already spent here: In His hands!

Praise the Lord that He is in control. I can sit here and worry, or I can trust in His unfailing love and His wonderful plan for my life. My times are in His hands!!

This is a picture of Lauren, Olivia, and I sitting on the seal on campus. You are not supposed to step on the seal while you are in school because the superstition is that if you do, you will not graduate in 4 years. Lauren and I both walked on it. We are graduating in 4 and a half and 5 years. Olivia didn't step on it. She graduated. I just find it hilarious. And appropriate! 

Lauren

Today was one of those lazy days.

I woke up and it was supposed to rain. I went to Walmart and grabbed some $15 rain boots (which are bright pink and I am very excited about) and went to class.  It was supposed to rain, but it didn't.

I spent my entire afternoon trying to be productive and work on school work and I failed miserably.

Then I spent the night with one of my best friends. We ate pazokie (its a cookie that you put icecream on when it is still warm so the icecream melts), watched Friday Night Lights, and talked about boys.  It was wonderful.

Lo, I am just so thankful for you.  And even though you're not Paul's biggest fan right now, he says it well . . .

"I thank my God every time I remember you.  In all my prayers for all of you I always pray with joy, because of your partnership in the gospel, from the first day until now, being confident of this that he who began a good work in you will carry it onto completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

Phillippians 1:3-6

Skinned Knees

Flag Football season has officially started.

Gosh. I just love it so much! And I am playing AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE! Ha, I don't admit this often, but when I was about 7 years-old I told my parents I didn't want to play any sports with balls. So I tried gymnastics, ballet, and swimming. Then I retreated back to soccer. Dad says I could always get to the ball first, but then would let the other team have it. I just didn't want to get hurt. Well, 15 years later, I don't feel like I've played well unless I leave the field with some sort of injury. Who would've thought.

I tried to take a picture of my skinned leg just now. Unfortunately it doesn't look cool enough to post. Sorry. I'm sure at some point this season I'll have some great skinned knees to show off. Get ready.

Today was a little crazy. I got a really bad migraine this afternoon. I haven't had one this bad in awhile. So I took some of my meds and took a 2 hour nap. About an hour after I woke up I headed back to campus to play some flag football. Probably not the best idea but it was worth it.

The game wasn't our best. It was our first co-rec game and we just have some things to work out. We'll get there, I have no doubt. Playing tonight with a migraine just made me very in tune with my body. And  it got me to thinking.

We put so much focus on our bodies in this world. From exercising to eating well, to all of these crazy new doctors and health theories. But thinking about it, our bodies dictate so much of our lives.

I have recently realized just how often I get headaches and it is really frustrating (it is like every day). Sometimes it is so bad I just have to sleep, and sometimes I can get through it.
Some days I wake up and am so unhappy with the way my body looks I would rather just trade it in. Honestly. Other days, by the grace of Jesus, I wake up and am so thankful for the way He made me, every part of it.
There are days that everything that goes into my body is incredibly beneficial to its functioning; water, milk, gatorade, salad, fruit, carbs, protein, even dark chocolate (yes, I've heard that in small portions that is good for your heart).
There are days I choose to eat donuts, macaroni and cheese, and chocolate cake. And then I sit on the couch and watch a movie.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says "Do you no know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from god? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."

Well, where is the line between honoring God with your body and worshiping our body?

I'll be honest here. This is definitely a struggle. I love being in shape and healthy, but sometimes my motivation for exercise and eating healthy is because I want to look good. Where is the line though?
Unfortunately there is not a clear answer for that. I think we all have to examine our hearts before the Lord and ask Him to reveal to us what our motives truly are.

Philippians 3:18-19
For, as I have often told you before and now say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ.  Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame.  Their mind is on earthly things.

I think thats the kicker. Where is my mind? Is it on earthly things? Because according to this verse, if I am making my stomach my god, my destiny is destruction and I am living as an enemy of Christ. I don't want that to be my mindset.

But keep going in Philippians. Verses 20 and 21 say "But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body."

He promises to transform my lowly body and make it like his glorious one.  Yes, please.
He is in control of these headaches. He is in control of how I look. Gosh, he made me this way. I mean as hard as I try to get toned or lose weight, he is still in control. This is so humbling.

I don't have it figured out. I can't spell out to you where the line is between honoring God with my body and worshiping it. But I can choose to cling to this truth. He promises to transform me and give me a new body.  And I can choose to believe this:

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; 

your works are wonderful, 

I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.

When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

your eyes saw my unformed body.

Psalm 139:14-16

Freedom is not Free

I decided yesterday that I absolutely love the 4th of July. I've always really liked it, but I think it may be rivaling Thanksgiving for my favorite holiday (I haven't decided for sure yet, only because Thanksgiving also includes playing football).  Here's a quick glimpse into the 4th of July at K-Kountry . . .

8:45 ~ Kamp is awakened by the sounds of firecrackers exploding outside their barns. The greatest thing was having multiple kampers stick their heads out of the barn and ask us if we meant to wake them up. Yes, we did!

9:00 ~ American History WAR-ball. Warball with a twist. American Revolutionary Warball: The British counselors fighting the kamper colonists. Civil Warball: The kamper Union again defeated the counselor Confederacy.

11:15 ~ All American Free Time. Complete with the pool, water slides, water-balloon toss, ice-cream eating contest, blob wars, and Freedom Tickets which could be won a variety of ways and earned kampers a trip down the zipline!

1:00 ~ Picnic on the pool deck. I had my first bratwurst. It was delicious. Complete with apples, barbeque chips and chocolate chip brownies. An all American lunch.

2:30 ~ National Treasure showing during F.O.B. What an American movie, complete with adventure, intrigue, history, and of course some great one liners from Riley ("Albuquerque. See, I can do it too. Snorkel).

5:15 ~ Party at K-Kauai's water-park with an afternoon snack of peanut butter and jelly and watermelon slices.

7:00 ~ All American, all K-Kountry parade. Great American Heros like George W. and Lance Armstrong, and the greatest K-Kountry characters like Half Pipe Harry and the Bumble Bee (And don't forget the Ladies in Waiting, Miss K-Kountry, and Lil Jana and Big Miss).

7:45 ~ Another all American meal: Barbeque ribs, grilled chicken, pasta salad, corn on the cob, and a great salad bar. I again enjoyed a first! My first rib! No big deal, I definitely had some 9-year-old kampers asking me if I was really an American because I'd never had ribs before. I told them it was because I was a poor college student . . . they didn't buy it.

9:00 ~ K-Kountry fireworks. Grab a bompop. Grab a friend. Grab a seat. And sing along with God Bless the USA as we lit up the sky with a great fireworks show.

Whew. What an awesome day. I love that we celebrate the freedom we have in this country. Freedom to do and say what we like, and to believe whatever we choose to believe. As we were heading up to bed last night someone mentioned that "freedom is not free."

This is very true and reminds me of an essential, yet sometimes forgotten, truth.  Jesus paid the ultimate price so that I could be free. Free from sin. Free from guilt. Free from living a life of regret. Free from eternity separated from Him.  While I am so thankful for my freedom as an American, I am even more grateful for my freedom as a child of God! I did nothing to deserve this freedom, nothing to deserve my life. But Jesus chose to love me, chose to give me freedom and eternal life. He loved me more than his own life and paid a great price for my freedom. Praise the Lord! Praying that you are understanding and living in His freedom!!

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free! Stand firm then and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." Galatians 5:1

Get off me Fear!!

I have been blessed to be able to be a boat driver this summer. Sweet memories are made out on the lake with these crazy 7 to 11 year-olds. It is pretty amazing to see just how brave some of these kids are. The craziest kids I've had have been Barn 3 girls, who were eight years-old. Its always hilarious to see their reactions when they are thrown from a tube into freezing cold water. It is also amazing to see some of these kids conquer their fears out on the lake.

Just yesterday I drove ski trip for Barn 1. Four little seven year-olds and their counselors piled in my boat and we headed out down the lake.  The first two were dare devils. Flying all around the lake and barely blinking when they were thrown into the water.  And then there was little Hannah. From the very beginning she was not going to go tubing. At all. In fact, she even tried to get her counselors to let her stay at kamp for the afternoon.  Being a former seven year-old who definitely was afraid of everything from seaweed to tubing on the lake, I understood exactly where she was coming from.  Her counselor and I tried to explain to her that it was going to be really fun and that she had nothing to be afraid of. She bursted into tears. She did not want to go and she was going to throw a tantrum before she got on that tube.

I sat down next to Hannah on the seat and had her look at me.  "Hannah," I said, "why don't you want to go tubing?" "I just don't want to go. I'm really scared and I really don't want to." After calming her down a little bit I tried to find out what she was afraid of. I couldn't really get a straight answer, but it seemed like she may have had some not so fun tubing experiences in the past.  I reassured her I would drive very slow, and that she would not fall off. Still not making much progress, I started to explain to her that she would be so glad after she tried it. She didn't really believe me. Then her barn-mates began to tell her some verses and that Jesus was going to be with her. They are also seven. It was so neat to see those little girls encouraging their friend to do something she was scared of. We still weren't making a whole lot of progress, so I said, "Hannah, this is what we are going to do." I told her she was going to go on the tube with her counselor, we would go very slow, and she could count to 60, a whole minute, and if she absolutely hated it she could get off after that.  "Do I have to?" "Yes." Through a little bit more convincing, and promising that she would not fall off, she finally got on the tube with her counselor.  I have never driven anything that slow in my entire life. But Hannah was tubing!! And loving it! She was beaming from ear to ear. And believe it or not, she didn't tell me she wanted to get off after 60 seconds. I don't even think she counted. That little seven year-old conquered a huge fear.

After that run she climbed back in the boat amongst praises of how brave she was and how proud we all were of her.  She got back in and said "yeah, it was fun, but I don't think I want to do it again." Darn. Well I don't know what happened during our snack time, but afterwards we went out to tube again. And she was ready to go again! She jumped on the tube with her counselor and another kamper and once again told me to go slow. We started out slow, but little by little I would pick up some speed. The whole time Hannah was still beaming. Yelling and laughing and having a great time. I finally got up to full speed and was cruising around the lake. She loved it. Every bit of it. Hannah did not want to get off that tube. She rode the whole 20 minute ride back to kamp with two girls from her barn.  Once we got back she told her other counselors, "I rode the longest ride ever!" Praise the Lord. That seven-year-old is now able to conquer her fears.

This is definitely one of the neatest things that has happened so far.  Hannah not only put all of her trust in a plastic tube and a Honda powered boat, but she put her trust in her counselor and in me. To know that she trusted us enough to allow us to help her conquer her fears was the coolest experience.  It gave me a lot of encouragement to realize that fear is simply a method of the enemy to keep us from experiencing all that God has for us. What a great reminder. Stop living in fear. No matter where life currently has you, realizing that your creator made you to be bold and courageous! Rest in that fact today!

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

Within a matter of hours

As Kamp continues to charge on, I'm really excited to take a second to reflect.

I am so blessed and excited to say that every single day I am reminded of how much God is at work. Every day kids are seeing the life of Christ played out in our staff, and their hearts are being changed. Not to mention the work Jesus is doing in my own heart and life. I ask that you would be praying for me on this journey as I am stripped of myself and strive to live more in His spirit.

Term 2 has changed my perspective. For one thing I am finally believing that Jesus keeps no record of my wrongs. That the little ways I may feel like I am messing up, He is not holding against me. I can rest in his grace and know that I am exactly where He has chosen for me to be this summer, with the people He has placed in my life.  I am continuing to strive towards Him, clinging to Paul's words in Galatians 6:15, that what matters is a new creation. Oh Jesus! Thank you for making me a new creation!

Whew! I just need to take a breath as I recall the events of the last week. It has been extremely packed and insane, not to mention an exciting adventure. These moments of summer come and go so quickly, yet I am so thankful for each and every one! Moments like telling my osages that we are going to unload a warehouse truck when we are really having a special Panera breakfast. Moments where we are dancing crazy at K-life and start a train, only to turn around a minute later and realize that all 250 people in the gym are following. Days when every time I look in my mailbox and find either a dead tarantella or a plastic cockroach. Afternoons where the trash talking between the boys and the girls over how well we know the devo rap is both ongoing and ruthless.  Evenings where the sun never sets, and every person over 18 years old is dressed as a character from a different country manning a booth at the World's Fair. Nights that we sneak down to campout to find that the barn has forgotten to go and we eat all of their smores. I just continually am amazed at how incredibly special this place is. There is no doubt that Jesus blesses this place beyond belief.

Let me just elaborate on a few of these special moments.

Each term we have Movie Night/Staff Cookie night. The leadership team takes all of the kids to the gym and watches a movie (this term it was Emperors New Groove) and all of the staff hang out on the lower fields and eat cookies. After a rotation of being with the kampers I headed down to the lower fields to find some of the staff hanging out and casually throwing the football. Now, lets just be honest here. I about jumped out of my skin in excitement because I love football. And after only a little bit of convincing we played a quick game. And oh let me tell you . . . my heart is so happy that as the sun was setting I got to catch and throw a football, and run into some people. Even if it only lasted 15 minutes.

Now, let me tell you about one of the wildest 24 hour periods that has happened so far. Saturday night a freak storm blew in. What started as a sprinkle ended up to be a downpour with extremely high winds and lots of lightning. In fact lightning struck a 300 year old tree in the church, splitting it in half, knocking it over onto the slough slide, and causing a power outage for all of Branson Kanakuk. With no power we could no longer have K-Life, so we defaulted to 4 scrapers and base drum and sent everyone to bed at 8:45. Thankfully the power came on by 10:30, but God must have known we would need a good night sleep.
The next day we had our osage ski trip. Just me and my amazing osages on the lake tubing and swimming all morning. I was not a very merciful boat driver. I flipped all of them off the tube multiple times (if they tell you they survived "The Missy" they are lying). It was a precious time together. I'm going to miss these girls. We spent the next hour laying in the barn all nursing our sunburns. Ha, no big deal!
For the next hour of what we call Super Sunday we played a version of "counselor hunt". Several of us dressed up as characters and hid at random places throughout kamp. The kids had to help the princess of the forrest determine if we were good or bad. I put on my default skit closet purple princess dress (honestly I go into the skit closet and try to figure out a reason to wear that dress), a hideous green wig, a huge pink hat, and grabbed an octopus. I went down to the slough where we have canoe class, and climbed into a canoe. I was supposed to be bad. I was Ursula the sea witch with my pet Pinky the Octopus. Honestly, I really had a ton of fun.
Then we had the Galactica Spectacula. A party where aliens have landed on the lower fields. We bring all the kids to the lower fields, and just after they get settled a helicopter (yes, a real helicopter) lands on the lower fields. People from NASA (really just leadership people) jump out and tell everyone they have to figure out what is going on. I was working the G-Force station. We piled kids into the boats and drove them in circles and figure-eights with their eyes closed. It was magical.

So to summarize, if you're still reading, within a matter of hours we went from no power, to crazy boat driver making amazing memories with my osages, to sitting in a canoe in a wig and a purple 80's prom dress, to watching a helicopter land on the lower fields, and back to crazy boat driver.
I love this place. Thank you Jesus for this incredible blessing.

Moments of Wonder

What do rappers, high class fashion designers, cave men, and 9-year-olds have in common?

K-Kountry. The Happiest place on earth. 

I have realized in the last 48 hours just how valuable this place is. Some call it revelations, some call it epiphanies, we call it moments of wonder. Moments that make you realize how valuable your time on this earth is. Moments that make you realize that God is bigger than all of the craziness and the scheduling and the ladder of success. That He has created us for a life that is more than this world. More than we can ever imagine.  

So let me just explain how kamp is a place like no other. Relationship form at kamp that are unlike any other. Where people are safe to be themselves and be open and vulnerable with everyone around them.  Where you can be a complete dork and everyone will love you more. Where you can scream at the top of your lungs and no one is going to tell you to be quiet. Where it is consistently encouraged that you are louder, more excited, and more insane than you currently are being. But most of all, where kids, and those of us who still act like kids, see Jesus.  Gosh, there is just nothing like it.  

So let me get to the point here, and let you in on a couple of these amazing moments of wonder . . . 

Staff training week is a crazy time of getting kamp ready for kids to come. There is lots of hard work, lots of training, and lots and lots of crazy memories. Every year we have what we call the K-Kountry Hoe Down. Real square dancers from all over southwestern Missouri come to K-Kountry to square dance with 200 college students. It is the most hilarious thing you will ever see in your life. There is a caller and everything. I mean it is incredible. Dancing around for hours in groups of eight, and messing up every three steps couldn't be more fun. 

The last night of staff training week we call "family night".  The leadership team serves dinner and then we have a prayer walk and K-Life.  Well this year we have the most amazing cook K-Kountry has ever seen. And she wanted to make us fajitas. Oh my goodness. Hands down the most incredible steak and chicken fajitas I have ever eaten in my whole life. And the best homemade guacamole EVER. For sure.  But the incredible part was that we truly become a family on this night. We ate together, laughed together, and auctioned off dances with each other.  And all the while we were serving dinner to the staff while we were dressed up like crazy Mexicans. Moment of Wonder.

Ok, so this summer I am the Osage Mom. The Osages are girls that have just graduated from high school and are essentially like counselors in training. And I get to live with them all summer. They truly are amazing.  So the first night the kids were at kamp I had planned a surprise for them. I got up to the barn and told them to put on socks and tennis shoes and grab a water bottle, and that we had to do something important.  They had no idea what to expect. First they thought I was going to make them work out. Then we ran into some people who told the girls I was going to haze them. So at that point we start walking to the lower fields. And they were convincing themselves that I was going to make them jump in the lake. The lake is literally 45 degrees. It is freezing. There is a dam from a neighboring lake that lets water into our lake almost every day. Our water comes from the bottom of that lake, and it is always freezing. As we walked down to the lower fields they said everything from "I'm leaving right now!" to "I'm wearing all white" to "There is no way you can make us do this". Then they saw the camp fire. And what was the first reaction? "Why is there a fire? What is this?? This is so creepy!!" Hahaha. No worries, we just made smores and bonded. It was a moment of wonder though, at least for me. :)

Well, more to come on my next 2-4 (a 2-4 is what we call our days off . . . cause they are 24 hours). Can't wait to share more moments of wonder with you!

Welcome to Kamp!

Hello. From Branson.
This summer, I am spending 3 months at the Happiest Place on Earth, also known as K-Kountry. K-Kountry is part of Kanakuk Kamps, a group of Christian, athletic camps in Missouri whose mission is to provide kids with an EXCITING Adventure in Christian Athletics.  I'm about to start my fourth summer at Kanakuk, my third at K-Kountry.

Well, right now we are in the middle of staff training, also known as Work Week. Cause thats what we do. Work. And its actually 2 weeks. It has been crazy. Meeting the amazing new staff, hanging out with amazing friends, and getting kamp ready for six terms of 288 kids each. I love it. It is truly where my heart feels at home, where I feel like I am doing what Jesus made me to do.

I don't have a lot to say at this point. Except for the fact that it is not very hot yet, the staff is amazing, Wesley and I have dominated creating a beast of a schedule, Erin and I have water skied in 45 degree water, and "this is a K-2 body". I love it. I think my catch phrase for the summer is going to be "welcome to kamp!". I've said it about 45 times a day already.

Well, welcome to kamp. And I'll be updating every so often, whenever I have a day off. I can't wait to share about what God is going to do this summer at kamp, what He is going to teach me, crazy things the kids do, and crazy adventures I have with this amazing staff.

Let's Go. Welcome to Kamp!

Number 1!!!!!!

My favorite memory from college . . .
Okay, lets just be honest here, again, this is not exclusively one moment. However, it started at one very important, and very pivotal moment in my college career.
My sophomore year, like every other year, I went on our Women's Retreat with CRU.  Saturday night during the retreat, one of the seniors gave an incredible talk and was completely vulnerable and transparent with all of us.  She had such a powerful message, and God totally used her words and her story to stir in our hearts and change so many of our lives.

After her talk, 7 of us piled in the back of a Tahoe and shared our lives. That night triggered the start of our accountability group, and a friendship that will last for the rest of our lives.  I am so thankful for these girls. They mean absolutely the world to me. We've had some incredible times throughout college, and I'm so thankful I've gotten to share it with them. From blizzard nights to the seven dwarfs, from rock painting to secret weekends, I've loved every minute we've spent together. I love you girls!!