Louie

So my finger is broken and there is a big ole splint on it. My fingers are taped together so it takes me 15 times as long to type anything.  But I really wanted to blog.

This is a video clip from a message by Louie Giglio. Its only a few minutes long and is one of my favorite messages. It is really powerful.  Even if you've seen it, it is worth watching again.  It makes me cry every time.

Laminin

"For by him all things were created, 

things in heaven and things on earth,

visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities,

all things were created by him and for him.

He is before all things and in him all things hold together."

Colossians 1:16-17

saying good-bye to compulsiveness

Sometimes I can be slightly OCD. No big deal. I just like things my perfect way. This is definitely something I struggle with, and in recent months have realized the incredibly unattainable standards I have held myself to.

I will admit this blog is something I have become a little compulsive about.  I would love to make an entry every day, or at the very MOST every other day.  Well, that is just not possible. Self . . . you need to die and get over that.

Here's what I've learned.

Life is not perfect, predictable, or in any sense normal. It just isn't (haha I know, could've seen this one coming). But really. As much as we try to control things, we just can't. School gets crazy, people are unpredictable, we get distracted, it goes on and on.  But one thing we can count on, "my times are in your hands." Psalm 31:15.

I really wanted to make like 10 entries and change the date so it would look like I had been posting all along this last week. Ha. I know, that would be lying. But there are a lot of things I have really wanted to blog about but just haven't had the time. So, if you want, read till the end.  Life is just funny and I'd love to share it with you . . .

1.  Last week I went to the career fair.  It was very intimidating. I did not want to go.  I was feeling very confused about what I felt like I was hearing God was telling me to do with my life.  The thought of going to the job fair just made me frustrated and anxious.  But I pressed on and ironed my fancy shirt (which took forever), got my suit out of the back of my closet, printed out about 20 updated resumes, and headed out to Thompson Boling Arena.
As I was heading in I was reciting a verse.  Can I just tell you how powerful the word of God is? It truly has the power to put our hearts at rest.

Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God.

Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, 

but our competence comes from God.  

He has made us ministers of a new covenant-

not of the letter but of the Spirit-

for the letter kills but the Spirit gives life.

2 Corinthians 3:4-6

What a wonderful reminder! As I was walking into that job fair, scared out of my mind, Jesus was so gently reminding me that my confidence needed to fully rest in Him. That even though I felt bad about going, he was faithful to work his plan out in my life.  I didn't need to rely how well I could convince prospective employers that I was awesome, but I could rely on the fact that he was the one that was ultimately working and orchestrating who I was going to talk to.  What a great thing to rely on in the midst of such uncertainty.

2.  I don't know how many of you followers are VOLS fans.  But if you watched last Saturday's game . . . well, hm.  Despite such a disappointing loss, I had a revelation. 

Every single week we (as in all the fans of the VOLS) place all of our hopes on 30 or so 18 to 22 year-olds and one middle aged dad.  We, for the most part, forget their past faults, and strive to see the best in them for 60 minutes.  We cling so tightly to their performance. We hang on their every move.  We don't stop believing in them until that clock reads 0:00.  Some weeks our hope is affirmed (yes, I know, not too much lately, but stay with me).  Some weeks our hopes are brutally crushed. Brutally crushed!  We are disappointed, we may even get upset. 

But fast forward seven days.  

We put all our hopes once again in those 30 or so guys who actually get time on the field. We trust that middle aged dad to make perfect decisions once again.  We forget their past failures.  All our hopes are once again focused on those boys for another 60 minutes. 

Why? Why do we continually put our trust in something that is so unfaithful. Why are we so quick to bounce back even though we have been let down time after time? 

And why do we refuse to trust the Lord when things don't go our way? He doesn't have a losing record. He never fails us. Never leaves us. Never forsakes us.  I'm willing to trust boys that I don't even know, but not willing to trust the one who made me and knows me more intimately than anyone ever could. Where is the disconnect? Why do we give God one chance but give the Vols so many? Who has a better track record? Who is willing to put His life on the line for you, even though you choose to not trust him.  

Isaiah 2:22 says "Stop trusting in man, who has but a breath in his nostrils.  Of what account is he?"

The phrase "stop trusting in" means to "cease from" or "give up on".  Stop trusting in man who is frail and of limited wisdom. Stop relying on those that are going to fail you. Put your faith, your whole faith, in the one who is worthy to be believed.  

Honestly, I have a few other things to blog about.  But it is 2:27am and I am waking up in 5 hours to head to Virginia for  my cousins wedding.  Oh yes, a weekend with the extended family.  There is bound to be something blog worthy!

So good-bye compulsiveness. I'll get around to all of these stored up blogs. I will not be a slave to the perfection. I'm blogging because I enjoy it. Not because I have to. 

15 items or less

Well, I have a confession. Day 1 on the road to normalcy was an epic failure.

Okay, maybe not epic.

But in an effort to make my morning routine, I slept in 30 extra minutes, missed my date with Billy Blanks and his Boot Camp clan, and did not stay on campus until 5pm to study. I did however work on some school related stuff like my resume when I got home, so I guess that still counts.

Actually, it wasn't that bad. I'm realizing the whole reason for the "21 days to normalcy" is to help my life be a little less stressful, and for me to feel like I have some sort of control on my school work and on my time.  It is not a pursuit of perfection. It is not another unrealistic expectation that I am going to put on myself to be flawless.  It is just a goal of forming good habits and good time management.

So, I will put day 1 behind me, and strive again for a normal routine in day 2.

Philippians 3:12-14

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.  Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.  But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

And I'm having some trouble with WalMart right now.  I think I should write them a letter. This is what I would say:

Dear WalMart,

Why in the WORLD do you have 45 check out lines? I have never in my life seen more than 10 open at once. You are wasting space. And giving me false hope of finding a short line.  

WHY at 9:00 at night, in a city such as Knoxville, which is full of people that stay up late, do you only have 3, yes 3, checkouts open? Where is the logic there? And just because you have the "express" line open doesn't mean it is "express". When it is one of three lines open, EVERYONE who came in at 9:00 to buy something quick will end up in that line. You should rename it the "sloth" line. Yes, still 15 items or less.  And who thought it would be a good idea to close all of the self checkouts? Even though they take longer, it feels shorter because the customer is doing it them-self.  Keep them open. Please. And one more thing? Why is one of those 3 checkout clerks the most ill person alive? Seriously. If the person checking me out, touching everything I am purchasing and bringing into my home, is sniffling and blowing his nose, I really would rather just put my stuff down and leave.  That is just not good for customer relations.  

That is my advice. Take it or leave it. 

Sincerely, 

Your most valued customer.  

Ha. If only.  

I should probably share this verse.  It is one of my favorites, and by favorites I'm not really sure if I mean that because it just convicts me and puts me back in my place every time.  

Philippians 2:14

Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure children of God . . .

I forgot to mention that the reason I went to WalMart tonight was to get the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shread. Each video is only 20 minutes long. I'm starting tomorrow morning. I'll let you know how it goes. And yes Jillian, you can send me the check for that endorsement now.